Deathly Mint

hi,

I just wanted to apologize ahead of time but this got a laugh out of me. It has a lot of emotion and from what you're saying it seems like you're allergic to mint. so hopefully you don't come across it anytime soon. In a way it's kind of hard not to though since mint is quite popular now days. But I can relate to this quite a bit. Every time I have something mint flavored even if there's a small grind of it in the food/drinks my stomach gets upset and I tend to get sick afterwards. Not a lot of people understand why mint does that to me though. The only other thing I have to say is I will have to agree with the others it's quite dramatic. Even if someone isn't allergic to mint it seems like they could at least understand where your coming from because of the emotion in this poem.

Good work

-Ranay

I think this was a nice poem. I enjoyed the emotion you put into it. You must be very allergic to mint. I hope that you don't eat mint any time soon. I don't relate I love mint. It sounds very dramatic and personal to you. You are good at expression, I like the second stanza the best. It seems to be like a fear as well as a comparison.
Good work!
Keep writing!

Hey!

Wow. Who would've guessed?... lol. What I really like about this poem is that it is a totally random, funny topic that hardly anyone writes about: Deathly Mint. I mean, who thinks of this?

I really applaud you for using many adjectives to help get the point across. I also like how the poem is of humor and sadness. To think that the effects of something as tiny as a mint would have such a big impact on someone's life is hard to take in...

Overall, really enjoyed this poem. Keep writing!!!

~Elephant

So...this piece is interesting.
It's quite relate-able to me, but it has be a bit confused.
It sounds so dramatic and morbid, for lack of a better term, and I'm not sure how to take that. Is this supposed to be a bit facetious, to make a satire twist?
Perhaps you're being poetic by referring to something mint symbolizes.
Or you're just really really passionate about how mint makes you feel like your mouth is dying? And how is it that this taste gives you joy while you describe it as 'murderous', and compare it to a blade?
I'm being totally honest, I'm a bit lost. I totally get it if this is supposed to be a bit on the comedy side, but if it's not...well then yeah I guess I'd be really lost.
On the super plus side, you have imagery and symbolism down really well. I'd word a few things differently but honestly, all that is preference. Also I'm not a huge fan of the exact structure, especially if nothing rhymes. But also preference. I'm a free-verse person. I don't like rules all the time:)

Good job; looks like this is becoming a hit around YWS so far
~iron.n

I think this was a well written peace. Really liked all the detail and things you put in it. I think it was very interesting what you chose to write about. "I hardly remember, so very long ago" Maybe change it to "I hardly remember such a momment, so long ago"( moment is spelled wrong). ok so for "that everyone went on about" maybe say " That everyone ranted on about". I think for "and left me writhing on the floor " you should add a little bit more detail. One last thing for the last line i think its a little too dramatic. Maybe change it too "For the cold sharp pain is not worth the risk". Just ideas! Sorry if im too negative! I will try to write a better review later, Im just in a rush. Please keep writing, Im looking forward to your next peace of poetry!
~Bam

Hey there Kat here to review...ish...doesn't really need a legit review .

This was such a chilling way to describe mint I absoutley loved it. I got chills. It was creepy yet refreshyng at the same time...like if a poem could feel metallic ...?

Awesome job and nice effect comparing mint to death, never thought of that but I guess they are both very cool ...eerie .

Keep it up
Kat

Yes! This poem was awesome! I love how you took something as well known and loved as mint (of all things) and soiled the name! You did an amazing job with your stanzas, and I honestly feel like if I were to write it, there is not much I'd do differently. I simply loved the piece. Continue to write poetry just like this piece!

I don't know if humor was your intention, but nevertheless I found this amusing. You were VERY clear about your abhorrence for mint. I was wondering if you not only found mint disgusting, but are allergic to it as well (you mentioned death quite a lot, lol).

I'm going to be honest here. I don't know the slightest thing about poems. I took a class back in Sophomore year which had a large focus on poems but I was total rubbish at it. So at this point I've just decided to read the poem in the way I'd read anything else. Being someone that walks out the door everyday chewing some mint gum I could actually connect with a few of these lines. Like "-for one stunning moment, But it turned my lungs to ice". That line made me remember the very first sensation I get when putting the gum in my mouth, like it's sucking all the air from my lungs. I also really liked the line (or lines) "-with icy cold breath, Fresh and Sharp, like a dagger in my heart". I think those words perfectly capture the essence of what mint gum is. Now I can't give any constructive criticism because I know next to nothing about poems, so I apologize if thats what you were looking for. Anyways, you did a beautiful job!

Remember that time with the mint oreos?
Ahaha I saved your life there.
Lovely poem.