Assumptions

Wow... You made me speechless. People assume even i do too. It's how we look and the society taught us. I i loved the way you expressed. You made me realize that i was wrong and from now onwards i will try to improve myself. Your poem was simple and clear and was glued to important stuffs. Most of the assumptions are false. I completely agree with your thoughts amd actually quite impressed. I loved the whole idea and the way it is executed. The most important part is the mind who make us believe in false things. I really enjoyed the whole poem. It also showed the introvert nature of the people. We are friends but act as a stranger. We know we are sad but we wear the mask of false smile. It is sad that the person who provides us happiness is the most saddest person in the world. I do believe that every words in this poem is reflecting the real life we live. We live in a society where no one helps us, no one even cares for us. It is really sad. And if the world goes on like this,we will be sourrounded and drowned in the ocean of sadness.

Keep on writing to make this world a better place to live.

Wow like this is poem was amazing. It has so much meaning and power. I feel that anyone who reads this poem can definitely relate to this poem in some way or another.
Often times people assume that everything is okay just because someone smile and laugh all the time. However, on the inside they may be crying. You really hit home for a lot of people, especially for me.
Keep writing you are very talented, and thanks so much for writing this poem

Okay, I just have to say AMEN!!!! This is an amazing poem with so much meaning and truthfulness!!! I don't care who has read this, but I know that they could relate to this in one way or another! This is so relatable and the message is exceptional! It's purely amazing!

I have a friend who cuts and also has gone through a time of major insecurity issues. She would always put a smile on her face to mask the pain and loneliness she felt. People I would talk to would judge her and look at her differently. When honestly she is one of the most beautiful and amazing girls you'll ever meet. People cannot assume that the are okay! It spent work like that!

I have another friend who has gone through son major difficulties. He was in a car accident when he was young and because of that has a little problem with learning, but by looking at him you could never tell. This buddy of mine went through a time of depression because people would mock him constantly. This really hurt me and I did whatever I could to help. This poem really shows how he was doing. He would act like it didn't bug him, when really it was eating him alive.

This poem has really touched me! This poem can really show a lot of people what is going on in the world today. It brigs awareness to it and shows that everything cannot be assumed to be okay.

Thank you for this amazing piece! It really impacted me! Keep writing you have some insane talent! Oh, and thank you or listening to my rant lol.

Keep writing bro.

~#41

Hello there Falconer! Celtic Thunder1438 here to review some of your work!

First off I just want to say that I LOVED this piece! It is in the top 5 of my favorite poems on YWS! You did an AMAZING job and I really enjoyed it! The message in this poem kind of really hit home for me- something I love when reading poetry (or anything for that matter). You did a splendid job making me love this piece.

This part -
"I'm 14," I say.

Nothing more;

an assumption was made.

"So, what grade were you held back in?"

Insulted again-

I know I'm smarter than them. '
- probably hit home the most since I was put back kindergarden because my teacher said I daydreamed to much. I mean come on! Aren`t kids supposed to have an imagination? What kind of a childhood are you going to have if you don't have an imagination? I am 14 right now also.

This one also - 'If a soldier goes missing,

it's assumed that he's dead.

And that's what causes his death;

because they assumed

and no one came to rescue.'

Love your work! Keep it up =)


~Selina
-

Hello, Firepower here! I'm just writing a review.

I loved this, because I really liked some of the connections you made in this poem. The second to last stanza was my favorite and I felt I could really sympathize with it. I'm going to agree with a reviewer before me- the ending is shaky. If you rewrote it to better fit the rest of the poem (I'm not going to suggest you change the rest of the poem, because it's perfect), you would have a completely great piece of poetry on your hands. The ending, I think, is the only weak link.

I
will never
assume
anything
again.

Hey, Will here.

Just joking. I loved this piece. I enjoyed it as well, which is what poetry is all about, right? This writing puts you in the scene.

'They assume that she's fine,

the girl with the false smile.

Why are they so surprised

when she is drowned in the river?

They didn't look past

the shaky façade.'

It makes you think that you are there, like when they are surprised - without many words you have given me this image of people being shocked, or the 'shaky façade.'

A few things I would like to recommend is to redo the ending. I love the

'No one ever knows

the full story,

the true story.

and it's alright if they don't want to tell'

But don't write at the ending, "but, don't assume." It's very anti-climatic. It's like you eating a cake, and suddenly at the end of eating it something bitter comes in, that you didn't expect.

Also, for future poems you write, try to create a rhythm by choosing the amount of syllables you use. It really helps the flow of the poem.

For example,

'No one ever knows

the full story,

the true story.

and it's alright if they don't want to tell,

but

don't assume.'

In this stanza, there is some rhythm at the start, with 'No one ever knows' (5 syllables) and then 'the full story,
the true story' (3 syllables each)
But then there is this random line which interrupts everything, and is 10 syllables long. This really disrupts the flow.

Falcon, I love the message of this poem, it's powerful and sophisticated. But try and remember the two things I have told you. They really help in writing.

Will look forward to more.

-willachilles