Alone, I remember the golden years
When I walked between the raindrops like tears
Drops that shone with light yet were bittersweet
When the cold water pooled up at my feet
The years wrapped up in a moment of time
A crystal of life gleams golden sublime
The years suspended in a drop of sap
Beautiful treasure in an amber trap
Not batting an eye, we cast it aside
Not wanting to see what might lay inside
Glorious days of the rain and the sun
Days before winter's cold might had begun
But none now remember, none except me
Pick up the amber you find by the tree
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140,525 Literary Works • 673,312 Reviews
Yayyy I liked it.
I LOVED the expression here yay.
A LOT of them, and I have amber bracelets also, they aren't so "in" these days, but somehow I find them really intriguing. I liked your topic mostly because I love my collection of amber beads 
Okay so, firstly, you chose a brilliant topic. Secondly, I loved the title.
"When the water, cold, pooled up at my feet" You could've used cold water instead.
"
A crystal of life gleams golden sublime
The years suspended in a drop of sap
Beautiful treasure in an amber trap"
Favourite favourite lines
Cool beginning and cool ending, great okay.
By the way, I have amber beads
Haha keep writing and stay blessed.
xoxo
Thank you so much for the kind words! Amber is always very fascinating to me, and I just like to think of it in a different perspective. I'll fix that one line right now! (It's just the way I first thought of it)
Hello Tuesday here for a review. i like to begin as saying that this poem has a wonderful message or tone behind it since I think of what you are trying to say is that people are like amber since the are held in tight by the secrets that are from the past or something. Also I enjoyed the imagery (in small part through this poem) since the reader can imagine the feel or sight of something that you have wrote here.
I think you should change this stanza to When the cold water pooled at my feet since it would make more a sense and no need for the commas that you put there.Nitpick(s):
i would suggest changing -waiting to -wanting.
Overall, i think this sonnet (i believe) had a ABBA pattern along with the CDDC pattern that most sonnets would have also at the end of this sonnet, i enjoyed the couplet rhyming at the end also there are great uses of comparing throughout since you compare the amber to someone who has had a past and the person who throws away the amber, is throwing away someone's life (that could be interesting or boring yet both ways it is fun.)
Farewell,
Tuesday
Thank you for the review, Tues! I shall change those two lines, I do believe your versions are better.
I'm glad you got the message the poem was trying to convey.
Hey Falconer! Lupin here. I really enjoyed this poem. The imagery in these rhyming couples is incredible, particularly the lines; "The years suspended in a drop of sap Beautiful treasure in an amber trap". It's really majestic.
The rhythm as a whole is pretty good, however I would suggest changing the word "gold" in the line "A crystal of life gleams with gold sublime" to "golden" as I found myself stumbling over this line in particular. As previously said, try saying the poem out and finding out where you can put punctuation and altering the lines slightly.
Other than that, I can find little fault in this wonderfully sweet little poem. Great job.
Lupin.
Thank you for the review, I shall try and change that. I'm glad you like it!
Hi there
again, reading it out loud will really help with this.
First of all I'm glad to see sonnets are still around! I like this poem, it really captured the sweetness and passion I think you were trying to achieve and your imagery is beautiful.
Sometimes the flow is disrupted a bit by the rhythm, which can be improved easily, for example "when I walked between the raindrops like tears" could be "when I walked between the rainbow tears" - that would perfect the flow but that's just a suggestion. I also suggest reading it out loud to yourself and then it will be easy to spot where the rhythm needs improving. And its very easy, you would just need to add\cut a syllable or two.
To me punctuation is not the most important part of a poem but its still important. Sometimes your lines are too long because there isn't enough punctuation. you need more pauses and breaks in the poem, otherwise its easy for the reader to get lost in what you're saying. So just add in some full stops, semicolons, comers here and there, where you think its necessary and then it will be perfect
Otherwise I thought this was a really lovely sonnet, I could understand the emotions you were trying to get across and your use of colour and imagery is very good.
Keep writing!
~*Annapurna*~
Thank you for the tips on rhythm changes, I will do my best to sort those out. I'm happy you enjoyed it!