Fly On
When Life takes its spin,
When pain and grief duel it out for your heart
When the sun hides behind the moon
And when push shoves you down into black...
We'll fly on, my love
We've gotta fly on
Through the smog that clouds the clouds
We'll fly on
'Cause Presidents can't do no thing
'Cause God in heaven needs our co-op
If we're to survive this apocalypse at all
It's never been an easy ride,
No Noah didn't have an easy ride,
And there's always been drive:
Well girl, you're my drive,
And sister we'll fly on
Till the sun comes out from its lunar mask
Till the world collapses
We'll fly on, on, on...
We'll grow old together,
Grow tired together
We'll fly on together
Just like Max and Fang
Peter and MJ
Bonny and Clyde
Yeah, my love,
We'll Fly On.
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140,186 Literary Works • 673,040 Reviews
Hi NewHero. It's so pretty. I really like your poems.
There's just a few nitpicks.
You don't need to capitalize "On".
Take the apostrophe out of "President's". You wouldn't say " 'Cause President is can't do no thing" would you? You can change "no thing" to "any thing" if you want.
I love this part!!!
-Crescent
Hey there!
I must say I found the repetition in this quite cheery and it was one of those poems that even though the line length varied oddly, it was kind of rhythmic and I left it feeling good about the read, so well done there.
There's only one thing I'm going to nitpick and it's not necessarily a negative, but I found this a bit too lyric-like. And that makes me read it more as a song than a poetic piece. In a way there's nothing wrong with that, but it does open up a whole new pool that could suggest it's lacking the effect it could have with some music accompaniment.
Any'oo, keep up the good writing!
~Ben