Okay, thanks guys, editted. It was meant to be 'add'. Sorry, bad mistake. Thanks for your reviews.
Five Boys and their Manager
Five boys and their manager,
Don't know why the world can't be,
All about them,
And all run by them
Five boys and their manager,
Are irritating pricks that lie in wait,
And tangle together,
And yeild sour grapes
Five boys, their manager and their Grade 7 Class,
Know how to stick together,
Like melting sour jelly babies
Five boys and their manager,
Add brown to the rainbow,
Live off mountain air,
And spring morning's sweet, sweet waving hair,
Brushes icy into their grinning faces,
Before sending them off to school in a gale
Five boys and their manager,
Are actually seven.
Will always be seven.
'Cause seven means completion.
There are seven days in the week.
And seven days to make the world.
And seven boys out of five boys, and their manager.
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140,191 Literary Works • 673,040 Reviews
? That line came out of nowhere.
These lines together do not make sense. Write them out in prose format, and you get "five boys and their manager, and brown to the rainbow..." How can something brown to a rainbow?
You completely lost me with how five plus one equals seven. I did like how you tied in seven as the number of completion, though.
Overall, I think much of my confusion is due to the punctuation. This poem isn't punctuated properly. I suggest that you write this out in prose format and make sure the punctuation is proper before putting it back into poem form. Right now, I'm too confused to appreciate or even notice any expressiveness this poem has.
This was good. I'm not just saying that. I loved the ending. There were a few things that confused me though:
I didn't get that one.
Also,