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137,435 Literary Works • 672,020 Reviews
Hey, hope all is well. I thoroughly enjoyed this poem. The imagery you used to describe the setting is very nice. I can feel how hot the weather is. A previous review mentioned this being a setting for a football field but could this have been an archaeology site? The orange soil, the fossils in amber, the landscape and dislodging of rocks? It just makes more sense to me
However, I do agree with another reviewer on the uncertainty of the narrator. Why are they unsure? Does the cotton or bottle cap represent something? Is there supposed to be an extension of this poem into another poem to continue the story? Or was that just left over debris from previous digging and swabbing? Either way, very nice word play and good work
I was hoping the bottle cap and cotton would echo imagery from the first stanza: "T-shirts" and "plastic water bottles" but looks like that still needs some work. I like that observation about the setting - maybe it was both?
Thanks for reviewing!
Ohhh I see, that honestly makes a lot of sense. Thank you for explaining this. No worries, any time
Hey, hope all is well. I thoroughly enjoyed this poem. The imagery you used to describe the setting is very nice. I can feel how hot the weather is. A previous review mentioned this being a setting for a football field but could this have been an archaeology site? The orange soil, the fossils in amber, the landscape and dislodging of rocks? It just makes more sense to me
However, I do agree with another reviewer on the uncertainty of the narrator. Why are they unsure? Does the cotton or bottle cap represent something? Is there supposed to be an extension of this poem into another poem to continue the story? Or was that just left over debris from previous digging and swabbing? Either way, very nice word play and good work
Hello Liminality! I hope you're having a wonderful day, so let's get on with the review!
First impressions are is that this is a very relaxing poem. It gives me a slice-of-life feel to it. You've described a football field in a simple way, but it is still effective in relaying the tone of the poem.
Imagery is very prevalent in the poem, and it describes the spectators in creative ways. I can visualize the second stanza like it's a Salvador Dali painting. The last stanza is my favorite. I did not expect it to turn into first person Pov. It's a surreal (if I'm using the term correctly) way to end the poem.
Overall, I really enjoyed reading this.
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Thanks for reviewing!
Hello! Came to leave a quick review.
This poem is simple and captivates the audience. Let's dissect it a bit
You've captured the audience by painting a vivid picture in their minds. It's the image of a crowd, spectating for a certain event which also goes well with your chosen title. Even if one hasn't experienced something similar to that, your descriptions make it almost real.
You go on to describe the weather and I feel the melting part. Summer can be brutal, especially with the humidity. The picture you paint here uses a slightly different approach compared to the previous one. The first part was literal without any hidden meanings. This one is surreal, describing the heat as so much one can melt into the landscape.
It is a strange and unassuming way to end the poem. But it makes the reader think. Why did the narrator say "I think I see a scrap of cotton or a battle cap"? Why aren't they sure? Did they see it wrong? Or did they uncover something slightly more sinister. I may just be overthinking, but this is the way I see it
Overall, I liked this short poem. Keep it up!
Thanks for the review!
My pleasure!