Young Writers Society

I love the concept so much, and it is beautiful executed. Here are some thoughts:

I don't know if it would mess up your syllable count or meter ( I haven't scanned the poem) but I think semantically it would be a bit more sense if your wrote "pretending to smell sweeter than what they have known" or pretending to smell sweeter than how they're known" but I also might be a little confused by what this line means.


The juxtaposition of the forest imagery and the fire imagery in the second stanza is an intriguing one, as they are contradictory but both necessary for life. Maybe that is something worth exploring more...? it's also cool to leave it as it is.

"The winds are singing for them" love this so much. I'm a little confused by the "loved by pines."

The final stanza is my favorite! So beautiful. Such a strong end! Once again, great poem!

This is a captivating and thought-provoking poem that explores themes of time, aging, and mortality. The author uses vivid and evocative imagery to create a mood of melancholy and reflection. The metaphor of the dust settling in the ruined stone represents the passing of time and the impermanence of life.

The use of natural imagery, such as the flowers and moss, adds a layer of beauty and complexity to the poem. The speaker's memories of the forests they once stalked and the fire that has been lost in their chest evoke a sense of nostalgia and longing. The line "journey's end is sweetest, loved by pines" suggests that the speaker has accepted their mortality and is at peace with the idea of death.

The poem concludes with the image of stars like crickets in the night, symbolizing the journey towards death and the afterlife. The use of the word "crave" in the final line suggests a sense of yearning and desire, perhaps for a new beginning or a release from the burdens of life.

Overall, this is a beautifully crafted poem that invites the reader to contemplate the fleeting nature of life and the inevitability of death. Yoour use of rich imagery and metaphor makes the poem a compelling and poignant read.

Hey Liminality!

Elinor here to drop by with a quick review on this poem. I really enjoyed reading this-- it's a fun and unique concept for a poem. It reminds me of a game that we used to play in my acting classes called Janitor, where one person would be assigned the "Janitor" role and you would have to move without them catching you. Anyway, just a fun aside.

Overall, this is a really solid piece, but I did have a few quick notes. Firstly, I've read this a few times, and I'm not really sure what it means.

My chest has lost its fire – here it lies
in embers spent on food, and drink, and talk.

I slouch among my still and smiling friends,
whose lips are sealed with plaster, clay, and vines.