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139,564 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
ALPACA COMING THROUGHHH!
*crash* *cat scream*
sorry cat
Alright! Time for a short review! (actually this is more of appreciation and encouragement post for this beautiful piece of work)
The first thing that came into my mind when I heard "water jet" was a boat on water. When I searched it up, I learned two things. What exactly a waterjet is and how important comprehension is HAHAHHA
The poem has a motivational and surreal like quality. The most motivating for me would be the third stanza is worth of being found in some motivational self care book. As for surreal, the way you describe literal rocks in the earth seems so magical, like it comes out of a fantasy. I find it extremely intriguing how you chose a water jet as the subject of this poem as it is something people won't think of to use as a subject for their works. So good job on creativity!!
Personally, the thing I liked most about the poem was how you described the strata of rock in the earth in a way that is down to earth yet beautiful at the same time. Phrases like streaks of blue-white, tantalize the imagination. Your descriptions here are amazing and I applaud you for that.
Overall, this is a light and wonderful read!
This is alpacaboss, signing off.
Wow. What a gorgeous poem. I really get the sense of the beauty that we miss when we stay in our carved paths, always retracing our steps. I love imagining the luminescence of what liés below the surface, the excess from the motherlode that we threw away. The imagery of the iceberg really cements this idea of all that we are missing by just being the tip.
The only thing I'm missing in this scène is the trace of the love-hunger and what it means. Maybe it is a disconnection, as you said the broke tip of the iceberg, so could it be then that the depths of love are no longer able to be connected due to the "sharpness" of the boat. Or maybe I am just missing what exactly the boat represents here to you. Either way I love the poem.
Thanks for the review! I enjoyed reading your interpretation - I myself actually hadn't connected the treasures in the sea to the remains of the motherlode being thrown away in the beginning, but looking back that makes a lot of sense. You're right about the "love-hunger" not coming up much after it was mentioned - that's probably something for me to work on in future revisions.
Thanks again!