Your laughter passes by me like the wind, natural
in its essence. It put down my wall, your hand finally
reaching me. Sometimes, I like it. The sensation
that the sky would fall vanishes and I feel like I walk
on glass covering the ocean beneath. Surreal.
Other times, I watch on the glass and see my reflection.
How my smile is the the brightest light I can reveal
to the world. How my quietness reminds others about
the silence in the graveyard. I pale in comparison to you.
You are the sun, blessing others with warmth while I
am the darkest night in a frozen expanse.
People gravitate towards you like bees to the flowers,
drinking your happiness as if it is nectar. I am one of them.
I cannot help it when without you, there would always be
a gray cloud hovering over me, promising rain and thunder.
I wonder why I cannot be like you. To fill myself with joy.
To cease away the frustrations like they are dirt on my shoulder.
My mind works on how to solve the issues surrounding me
like flies. Unlike me, you breathe in life with ease while I
cry and scowl, huff and yell with little chuckles left.
I realize, though, the cost of being the light source.
Of being the melody people crave and the hands people seek.
Their happiness become yours, and when you are alone,
what would you do? How are you going to adapt when you know
satisfying others has become your only routine?
What is your worth when you are not the sun?
There would be a time when smiling and laughing
build a wall around you, hindering the scent of other emotions
from reaching. I hope to drag away the fear that has
persuaded you from taking risks and maybe when we are together,
we can taste each emotion and trample each dilemma.