Young Writers Society

Hello there! I’m here to leave a review of your work. Thank you for posting, now let’s get into it!

What stood out to me:
Of course, the sheer amount of color portrayed and shown visibly in this poem is what catches the eye. As the poem evolves with the narrator, the colors only multiply, indicating the growth of experience and of knowledge in the narrator. This touch is very well done and creative, and I love that that concept is only expanded upon in the narrative of the poem itself.

Also, each color represents different emotions and tones which matches the age of the narrator. Yellow and pink being vibrant, happy, childlike colors, then the addition of other bright colors before diving into darker colors as the world becomes “darker” to the narrator.

The tone shift from age 10 to 15 is drastic, yet completely fitting as those ages are extremely predominant in the growing ages, especially as emotions become more complex and the mind becomes more aware of the reality of the world around them.

This poem begins and ends on a hopeful note, which I love. I am glad you didn’t go into the direction of “life was once good now it sucks” but instead focus on how there is so much to experience in life and the importance, hope, and excitement of learning more. That strong emotion of nostalgia yet hope for the future is strong in this poem, and you did a really good job of portraying those emotions through the use of color and language.

Critiques or suggestions:
n/a

Wrap-up:
Overall, Ley, this was a really lovely poem and I really enjoyed reading it. I have been wanting to write a poem similar by showing my growth throughout the years, and I think you did that craftily and notably. I love this poem.

Keep writing and I hope to read more work from you!
- Fleur

Hey, Ley!

I'm here to review lovely your poem here! It's no secret that I love artistic elements in poems, so making your poem both focus on colors and incorporate different colored text is wonderful. But your work isn't just a one-trick pony. The narrative of the poem is compelling and quite relatable to anyone trying to find joy in adulthood. With that said, let's get into it! I'll divide my review into sections for each stanza.

I was only five.
I love that the colors of the header match the colors focused on in the poem. However, since the yellow is only on the "I" it feels a little off-balanced. A little more yellow in the header would be fantastic. Unless you intended to make this sort of lopsided, then you succeed! I love the imagery of a small child being wrapped in flowers and bright colors associated with innocence and happiness.

I was only ten.
I love how this stanza serves as a transition. Many novice poets make the mistake of changing from one feeling to the other with no build-up, but easing into new territory makes the succeeding emotions feel more powerful. I love how only one letter here has a new color to hint that dull tones are sneaking into the speaker's life.

I was only fifteen.
I love how every word is a different color now. It gives the image of someone experimenting, trying something new to toss it aside for the next new thing. I love the image of the field shrinking and the references to puberty as a catalyst for self-expression.

I was only twenty.
I love the shift here from all dark colors to brighter ones. I also love how this stanza juxtaposes the stillness of the previous stanzas with lots of action verbs associated with confusion and rushing. It feels like walking off a field into a busy road.

I'm only twenty-four.
This stanza is a perfect ending stanza. All the combinations of colors, bright and dark, as well the soft verb "linger" next to the harsher verb "explode" draw from the past as much as the memory of laughter. I also love the open-ended question to tie us off, showing us how much life the speaker has to live. They still have time to explore themselves.

Overall, beautiful job, Ley! I loved this poem. Thanks for publishing; I enjoyed reading.

Happy Writing!
Wist

Oh Ley, this is lovely. The more you grew, the more colors you were able to see and the most colors you found. Right from the start, I was blown away.

I danced in fields where laughter bloomed like flowers,
It wrapped around me, shielding me from the world.

My body changed, and I was experimenting with my soul.
Hues of uncertainty now mingled with the familiar,
And I was starting to open my color palette a bit more.

!!!
AHH COLOR METAPHORS MY FAVORITE!!

THE WORDS GOING FROM VIBRANT > DULL > VIBRANT
WHJDEBUSSVSH I LOVE THIS