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The End

by LadyBug

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234 Reviews

Points: 26786
Reviews: 234

Tue Jun 04, 2024 5:42 am
OrabellaAvenue wrote a review...

Hi there Ladybug! I'm here to leave a review on your (incredibly) lovely poem.

There's so much I want to say about this - first off, this is beautiful, and I want to read it over and over again!! (I've already read it several times)

I love the way you formatted this; the font to the crossed-out words is eye-catching and creative, and we're not even talking about the actual words or meaning yet. One of my favorite lines is this:

and i had a dream we i went to church just to die at someone else's funeral.

I don't know what I love about this so much, but the vivid and simple statement of this is just so interesting to me in a way I can't quite explain. I wonder what exactly it means to you, but it seems like a fairly vague metaphor up for interpretation. To me, it kind of feels like it means doing or pretending (or someone thinks you're doing or pretending) something that is bad that someone else is doing, if that makes sense? Point is, I really love that line, and it's tickling my mind about it's meaning but I can't quite put it into words.

Another thing I also love in this poem is this line:

i want to will say i love you to someone who will say scream it back.

The different emotions and thoughts we get from the crossed out words is so interesting, and just adds that much more to the overall meaning and feeling of the poem. I love the change from say to scream especially. It makes me feel like the narrator just wants to be loved, and as they're getting more desperate for love, they're wishing someone will love them back as much as the narrator loves them. I feel like the not crossed-out words are what the narrator wants them to be, and words underneath is what they're pretending it is. Although they say the will say I love you, they just want to and won't actually do it. And they want the person to scream love at them, but maybe all that will happen is they will say it back, if they even say it at all.

I love the somehow vivid images I got from this poem, despite the fact that is not the main body of it. I guess you just did a really good job at putting the reader into the poem!

I really cannot write through text how much I loved this poem. It's just so beautiful and expertly written, and I really can't write for the life of me how much I love this.

Hope you have an amazing day/night, and please keep writing! You're too good to stop!!!

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21 Reviews

Points: 396
Reviews: 21

Mon May 27, 2024 9:01 pm
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L0ca1Tes1a says...

hello! I really like how in this poem that it has edits of you changing some of the words. I feel like by doing this it somewhat changed the meaning of the poem from if you would have left the original words. overall I really like this poem and think its well written. I also like how it seems like your writing to a past lover or someone who you cared for deeply. good job!

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Points: 200
Reviews: 0

Mon May 20, 2024 3:59 pm
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mariapositiva says...

Such a deep and creative... It's beautiful... THanks.

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9 Reviews

Points: 148
Reviews: 9

Sun May 19, 2024 8:56 pm
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AmberMelanie wrote a review...

This poem is pretty creative! I like how it is edited,, it kind of shows the still uncertainty?? Not "want" but "will"; not "say it back" but "scream it back." This is so creative and I love the loose rhymes that are in the poem, it really looks like something that should be professionally published, or lyrics of a song. Keep writing!!

LadyBug says...

thank you!

A beautiful funeral doesn't guarantee Heaven.
— Haitian Proverb