A/N: PUNCTUATION MATTERS IN POETRY. Poetry is an art, punctuation is a set of rules- therefore punctuation is something to be twisted and bent by poets in order to express something new. It is essential. Poetry is not poetry without punctuation. /rant over/ In this poem especially, if you disregard the placement and usage of punctuation you miss the whole point of the poem.
.
i'm longing for a time called You and i -
When Dreams had wings, and
we were born to Fly
yet the world doesn't hear silent screams,
nor does it heed quiet pleas.
and we were never meant to Remember -
but still
the Sound echoes round and round my head -
never in
As i see visions of what might have been the Past -
or future
and the wind carries still whispers of a dream -
an End
these Illusions keep falling and filling every Breath
and the world seems to shatter with every step,
yet Immortals don't need to breathe
And you never did learn to dream.
So quietly, oh so silently did those Feathers fall
one by one, hastened and chastened by midsummer's Breeze
'til You and i were nothing but a Memory.
So chase Summer's breath
'til the very End -
Our feet weren't made for this sinking Sand.
Run far, Run wild, i dare you
don't let die that quiet Memory,
Hold it tight, never Let Go -
And Run, my darling, Run Wild
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Canary word: Present
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Kat here for the amazing Team WHY? this review day and let me just say, thanks for writing the best thing I have read since I woke up. Marvelous my dear simply marvelous.
it was awesome. I envy you for your mastery of hyphens and you are right, this is very beautiful when you take the time to appreciate the minute details you put in it.Punctuation was certainly NOT a problem 
Thanks also for that punctuation rant I can totally see how it played apart here and capitalization such as with "Let Go" and "Run Wild" now that's some creative thinking *makes note to do something similar*.I love reviewing unique pieces like this because I always learn something I can use to make myself better while still helping others. That being said, I thought it was til' not 'til...'til makes more sense though... oops. in the first line why was the You capitalized and not the i ? is there some significance there? Loved the last stanza with the sand and the chasing and reaching and hoping
Sorry I wasn't more helpful this time
~Kat
It's a good poem and as you know the only problem is punctuation. Nevertheless, I enjoyed reading it. Though I felt like it sounded more like a song than a poem.
It's difficult to understand the hidden meaning in the poem, as i failed to understand it sadly but still It's a good piece. especially the lines, Hold it tight, never Let Go /
And Run, my darling, Run Wild
Thanks for the review! I figured it would probably be hard to understand, so here's a brief summary of the very complicated meaning:
The narrator is longing for the time they were children, when they were able to believe in their dreams. She (or he) believes they were meant to hold on to those dreams and make them become reality. The feathers falling represents the loss of hope- losing your wings/ability to dream. And my favorite part- the sinking sand is the world. We were born to fly, so we belong on our wings in the sky, not on our feet in the world.
Hey!
Loving it. Beautiful.
So I can see that this punctuation business is pretty important to you, so this review might just be really useless. I just think this doesn't read very well. It's disjointed, and inconsistent. I think if you're going to have a style that unique it has to at least be a rule...does that make sense?
I obviously missed the hidden meaning here, I don't know if that makes me stupid, but I liked the poem just as it is, hidden meaning or no.
I love the imagery of the feathers, the midsummers breeze, very florid stuff.
Beautiful ending, it just has the perfect cadence, and the repetition of 'run wild' works really well.
Clever Work.
Hey, thanks for the review!
I figured it would probably be hard to understand, so here's a brief summary of the very complicated meaning:
The narrator is longing for the time they were children, when they were able to believe in their dreams. She (or he) believes they were meant to hold on to those dreams and make them become reality. The feathers falling represents the loss of hope- losing your wings/ability to dream. And my favorite part- the sinking sand is the world. We were born to fly, so we belong on our wings in the sky, not on our feet in the world.