Daggers, Hammers, and Memories

Hi there, LGF here for a quick review!

I thought overall that is was a neat little poem, with some nice vocab and imagery. I like your meaning as well, and how you portrayed depression in a completely original way. Also the short lines added to this atmosphere of sort-of hacking away at something, which was really nice.

Now onto a couple of nitpicks;

Every day I fight daggers, hammers, and memories

I think this line needed a bit of fleshing out. Maybe add in 'those' before daggers to give it some more volume (just a suggestion)

My dear family,

I must end this game.

It’s not because of you.

This stanza is quite disjointed and I don't think it concluded it well. It's a great concept but again I think it needed fleshing out so it really feels like an ending. Maybe change it to something along the lines of;

My dear family,

I must end this game.

But please don't worry,

It's not because of you.

Anyway, overall great poem and keep up the good work;

LGF

This poem was really brilliant as it really connected with me. I loved the short lines as it shows how ugly some people think of themselves. Some people who write these types of poems go into elaborate detail to make something beautiful out of something terrible. Thankfully, you kept the feeling true to the way it is. On another note, I think that maybe you should have ended this with a happier note. I know this sounds contradictory to what I first said, but things do tend to get better, and I think you should incorporate that fact into the poem. Overall, good work and I cannot wait to read more from you.

I feel this was a very good poem. Sad but good. The structure was very good. I am going to give some constructive criticism even though I though it was very good I do wish you used some deeper words. I got the sense that you were only scratching the surface of your abilities and I would like to see a clearer picture painted within the words. It is very difficult to keep um a rhyme scheme and you did it well but I think it could use a bit of revision.
But now on to a happier note. I really really enjoyed this because it was obvious how hurt the speaker was and how they feel regret. It is sad to read about a person who has haunting memories, you really feel a big amount of sympathy for this character (well done to you!). I feel like every person has those memories that kind of make them cringe and you really just never want to talk about them but this poem takes it to another level. It is very sad to see how the speaker blames all of the things that have happened on themselves and it makes you wonder what it is that happened to make them feel like this. When they talk about "ending the game" it sends a powerful message about life being "a game". Very sad poem but a very well done job. Keep up the great work.

In my opinion, this is beautiful. Just the physical aspect, the imagery the use of more descriptive words, and even the tone. Most of all, it's the emotion. You can almost feel the pain because of the comparison to physical pain. With this you can really see that the two pains are different, but at the same time so much alike. This poem is just powerful.