Hope rises like the sun
Hovers over the land
The rays reach every heart
The warmth dissolves the misty doubt
Each new day a child sings
Each new dawn is a dream reborn
*space*
The day continues, the glory fades
Beauty is lost, but not forgotten
*space*
At the end of every day
The black cloak of night
Enfolds the earth
Light fades
Like hope
And dreams
The sun hides his face
From a world devoid
Of the laughter of small children
With fantasies
And promises to keep
His tears are frozen
Suspended in the sky
A far-off ray of light
A reminder of dreams unfulfilled
Beauty lost, but not forgotten
A reminder of the coming dawn
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
I liked it! When i read it, it reminded me of something fantasy. Like what others said, it seems to lack some emotion and you could have added some more to describing imagery. Over all I really liked your descriptiveness and word choice. My favorite part would be,
"The warmth dissolves the misty doubt
Each new day a child sings
Each new dawn is a dream reborn
The day continues, the glory fades
Beauty is lost, but not forgotten
At the end of every day
The black cloak of night
Enfolds the earth"
You did a good job on describing all this and I could see how everything relates to Hope. I liked the poem a lot! Keep writing!!
Hey there DragonLily!
I really enjoyed your poem!
I liked how you portrayed personification and metaphor. I liked your usage of the literary devices. Keep it up
Though the poem wasn't quite rhythmical. The rhythm was off at times.
But overall it's well written
I would suggest re-writing it to insert more proper rhyming words but you know what? I like it this way. Not all poems need to be perfectly rhythmical.
Keep up the good work and keep on writing
~Gigi
I really enjoyed this poem but didn't really feel any deep emotion within. I also felt that it was lacking in any original imagery. That being said, I also like the childish qualities in this poem that really hammer home your subject matter. One of your best lines in this poem was:
I enjoy seeing technique like personification being used. All in all I enjoyed it but felt that it was lacking a little, still you did well and I like the subject matter you tackled. Happy writing!