Waiting

by KaiTheGreater

Published February 16, 2014

In DragonLily

Waiting.

Waiting.

Always waiting.

The world goes ‘round,

The sun goes down,

And still we’re waiting.

Waiting.

Dreams are fading,

Years are wasting,

And still we’re waiting.

Waiting.

Children die,

Mothers cry,

And still we’re waiting.

~

Why are we waiting?

Something’s coming.

Why are we waiting?

Someone will fix it.

Why are we waiting?

I have no time.

Why are we waiting?

~

Why do we wait?

Time is not eternal.

Circumstances are never perfect.

No one will do it for you.

~

Their lives crumble.

Their tears flow.

Their screams echo.

Their pleas go unheard.

Their prayers go unanswered.

And still they’re waiting.

~

We

Must

Act.

~

Be a miracle.

Be a hero.

Be an answer.

~

Why do you wait?

Comments & reviews · 7
User avatar
faye5
Review
faye5 wrote a review Review · Oct 4, 2019

I really like how you left the interpretation up to the reader for this poem, as you have included just enough context but not too much, that the imagination has to be used to come u with the responses that haven't been answered directly therefore making the readers think for themselves, engaging us through your words. The emotion that you felt while writing this is very clearly shown through the way that you have described this concept of waiting, and adds to the overall topic of writing about such an emotional topic.

User avatar
WinnyWriter
Comment
WinnyWriter commented Comment · Oct 2, 2019

This is inspiring. :) Great call to action. Also, nice how it doesn't necessarily say what the specific issue to be dealt with is, so it kind of leaves it open to speak to each reader according to what comes to their individual mind.

User avatar
Ravenboy
Review
Ravenboy wrote a review Review · Feb 16, 2014

Hi DragonLily, I cannot fathom why no one liked this poem as yet, because it deserves a like. For the bluntness and your bravery at finally writing something about waiting. Waiting, is one of the most hated thing in the world. Yet we all do it, I have no doubt that you are waiting for reviews, waiting for something. So why do we all wait? Good question, and I think your poem addresses that idea boldly and with justice. Waiting, is no doubt a hard topic to write, and a coroversial one. From waiting for a toast to be done or waiting for someone to hear the calls of your inner self of just step out to do something rather than just wait.

This poem actually reminds of Dr.Seuse, The Places you will go. Anyways, what I wanted to say was. I like the reality of the poem, the bravey of it. Well done, well done.

*leaves a rose at the end of the page*

Continue your good work, m'lady.

-Rx

Thanks for reviewing (and liking)!! I'd meant for this to be a more serious poem, but ended up editing the heck out of it, so I guess it didn't quite turn out that way... Oh well...

User avatar
Ell15
Review
Ell15 wrote a review Review · Feb 16, 2014

I absolutely love this. I really like how passionate you are that people actually consider the words and don't just scan them for correct grammar and big-word usage. I really, honestly like this.
I like the way you write, and I feel like this piece could be like a chant from the way it echos and resonates.

Thanks so much for sharing.(:

Thanks!! I'm glad you liked it! :)

User avatar
Rarity
Review
Rarity wrote a review Review · Feb 16, 2014

Hello my dear. I like the bluntness of this piece. You didn't mince your words, which can sometimes happen when people try to make their writing sound pretty; however, I do feel that some of the lines are leaning towards being cliche, so just be mindful of this. Your grammar and punctuation look pretty good. There wasn't a consistent flow or rhythm, and I feel like rhythm is very important to a poem, even if it is free verse, so you may want to consider working on this, but don't mince your words to make it work. Overall, I quite liked this poem, and I enjoyed your thought provoking theme of waiting. Good job!

~Rarity

Thanks for pointing that out, I will definitely consider your advice! :)

TheResilentDreamer wrote a review Review · Feb 16, 2014

This left me speechless to be honest. I am not quite sure what we "wait" for, but I believe you are referring to how we waste time and do nothing while there are many things that are needed to be done. You pinpointed the issue with concise yet descriptive word choice that was very powerful, and I truly adored that. Their is very little to change, and I think you have an interesting way of writing poetry.

Thanks so much for taking the time to review! I'm glad I was able to write something worthwhile.

cherrycanwrite160 wrote a review Review · Feb 16, 2014

wow. this left a mark. the words of this poem litterally hit you. each word spins the questions around in you head...each question arises another. i really enjoyed this and actually took it into thought. my head was spining my mind jumping and waiting for more. the poem doesnt answer these questions. neither does life. it make you think. what excactly are we waiting for? why isnt anyone acting? who are we waiting for? well spoken words we all needed to hear.
"children die
mothers cry"
this was probably my favorite bit. bravo...

Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you liked it! :)

Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you liked it! :)



What orators lack in depth they make up for in length.
— Charles de Secondat, Baron de Montesquieu