A pool, reflecting moonlight,
A ripple, reflecting sorrow.
A breath of wind,
An echo of the past.
Voices whisper softly,
Calling from the depths.
A pool of tears,
The perfect image of the moon,
Shattered by the falling drops,
Becoming still once more,
Only to be disturbed again,
Shattering into fragments,
Like a thousand shards,
Piercing hearts,
Tearing dreams.
Once more still.
Always constant,
Ever changing.
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Canary word: Present
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140,456 Literary Works • 673,225 Reviews
Hello, Cheetah here to review your poem.
Wow. This was really lovely, I can tell you put a lot of thought into it. I definitely think this is the best part:
It took my breath away, well done.
The only thing I would suggest is adding punctuation. It would help the poem flow better and make it easier to read. Good job and keep writing!
Hi there, the beginning of the poem seems interesting with the ironies of a pond and its ripples to moonlight and sorrow. Same with the breath of the wind (perfect personification) and echo in the past that often come back in the form of memory.
It is not difficult to understand your poem but still clearly in its aesthetic value. It is indeed an enthralling poem with effective diction. I just think you need to put punctuation in this poem just to 'spice up' the tone of reading and make it more convincing.
Overall, you already have a good poem here. Keep it up!
Kudos, cheers