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KJ-
Wow another amazing chapter! I knew that the football scene would pop up.
You know, I never knew that Becca had a brother. James.
Okay, there's something going on with Mr. Sheldon. And Ann, too. I want to know!
Oh, I also want to know about why Ann frowned. But I think I can tell why.
Well, I need nine, right now. Bye...
-Merry
You have done a very, very, very good job with the flashbacks.
Mr. Sheldon is still a creep. . . . .but he's also really cool.
They are not too much and yet, not too little. You are balancing the present and past very well.
I also love your descriptions. They are very vivid and enjoyable.
Moving on, then. . . . .*runs off*
Everyone:
So again, thanks.
Thanks for the feedback. I'll be sure to edit as soon as I've finished the book (Getting close!).
And Olivia: Wow, I think your comment is the most flattering I've ever received
Hey! As far as I'm concerned, this just piece just keeps getting better and better! Although, the chapters are rather short....Have you considered contacting some agents about this? I'd seriously have a think about it if I were you! You've had a pretty thorough review already and I can't even find anything else say that isn't praise! Good job my dear, good job!
Another great chapter KJ!! Thanks for telling me it was posted. I just watched Prom Night, and I think you mentioned that you got the inspiration from that movie for this story. Just to let you know, this story is way better than the movie. I like how you're describing and the flashbacks really strengthen the plot. Keep up the good work,
~Angel
That was really good! I'm trying to find errors, but it's really hard to find anything-which is good, because that means you didn't make any easily noticed mistakes, if any!
Okay, here, I did find something: (Yay! Time for me to be picky! haha)
I think you meant for it to read:
And here: Okay, what's with the "I think"? I don't know, it just seems a little odd that your m.c. wouldn't know who was sitting beside her, seeing as you also mentioned before about her sitting between her two friends, so maybe try changing it to Just a thought.
And finally: You forgot this:
Other than that, I couldn't find anything else, so good job!
I can't wait until you post the next chapter-they all have me hanging on the edge of my seat! Keep up the good work!