Because - Chap. 16

Hi, KJ! I'm back! *waves*

I shook my head, gritting my teeth. “I haven’t done anything. And you know what I think? I think you’re just pissed because you’re so fucking jealous.”

Woot, woot! Go Becca! Ann had that coming.

I really liked this chapter. It was descriptive and dramatic. The drama wasn't too heavy, which is good because I know some writers who go overboard.

Interesting that she went and switched out. Good for her.

I didn't find any mistakes in this chapter, except for the sentence everyone already mentioned.

Personally, I think that you should keep the curse word in there. Realistically, when someone's that mad or provoked, they curse. So, to keep the story and character's real, I would leave it in.

Wonderful job, KJ!
Sheik

*KJ~

Hey, sorry I didn't come back and review right after 15. I had some errands to run. Anyway...

Dra-ma-tic. Much. I can't really tell if I feel for Ann or not. She's so, I'm not going to say.

You know, I thought Becca was taking a writing class not a journalism one. Even though they're kind of the same. And, can she really handle economics? I like to see if she can.

I don't know if you need those words, to described their conversation. And, I didn't see the rating to this. I can take a guess and say it's R.

Anywho, I was all like the edge of my seat when reading this. It was so good! And again (because you're so good) I didn't find any mistakes.

Amazing job!

*Merry

wow, very captivating. You have great character development and dialogue (I'm jealous).
Anyways, i was WAY too much into the story to look for any errors.
And now that I'm addicted to your story/writing I'll have to go read your other stories until you post the next part!

This was so so so so so so so so.....etc.- COOOOL! No not just cool.Awesome-epic-wondrous. Thank you so much for continuing to write this story. Oh, and thanx for agreeing to continue Violet.

I found no spelling or grammar issues, just an awkward sentence that someone already stated.

“You’ll be sorry, Rebecca Chapman!”

Ann needs to be slapped in the face. I hate her so much. I have never hated a character in a story as much as I hate Ann right now. It's a bit sad, isn't it? Maybe it is because she reminds me of some people I know, but I'm just guessing.

Anyway, another flawless chapter. Bravo. There isn't much more I can say about this chapter, besides that I loved it.

I can't wait for the next chapter. Please, hurry!

-Venom

Oh hell, more, MORE, PLEASE. I CANNOT believe that it stops here!! NO! *falls onto floor sobbing* My life is OVER! OVER I tell you! You think I'm dramatising here, don't you!? ARRRRRGH!!!

*slams head repeatedly against a wall* Dude, I'm going to be stalking you until the next chatper comes out. *attempts to do a stare as intense as Will's but fails miserably* I have never, never read something as powerful as this from an 'amateur' writer. I hereby place you in the same league as Anthony Horowitz. Amen.

(I hope you don't take offence to that. Anthony Horowitz is one of my extensive list of favourite - nah, not favourite. 'Preferred' authors. Favourites are limiting...)

Hey KJ!!

I've been waiting so long to read this. This was a good chapter, though it wasn't my favorite. It was intense and it took the story in another direction. I didn't see anything to nitpick on.

You’ll be sorry, Rebecca Chapman!” Ann shrieked when her hand swiped through air.
I stepped past her. “The only thing I’ll ever regret was calling you my friend, Ann Weston.”