Because - Chap. 10

by KJ

Published November 4, 2008

In Because

DELETED

Comments & reviews · 9
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mandeyy
Review
mandeyy wrote a review Review · Jul 5, 2009

Haha I feel terrible but I LOVE Will Sheldon . Although honestly I hate his name ... XD

And he brushed my cheek with the back of his knuckles. At the contact, we jumped as one. There was electricity in the air between us, and I tingled in a place that I never had before.

“Go,” he said again. This time his voice was hoarse, and I knew he was just as affected as I.
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That made me tingle too ... :3

User avatar
Merry_Haven
Review
Merry_Haven wrote a review Review · Dec 4, 2008

KJ-
Whoa. That did not just happen. Oh my god! That did just happen.

Man, this story is getting intense and intenser every moment. I just love it.

I have to stop talking and read eleven. Bye!

-Merry

User avatar
Sheik
Review
Sheik wrote a review Review · Nov 25, 2008

Whoa. :lol: Excellatte chapter!

You are doing such a wonderful job with Mr. Sheldon that he is beginning to remind me of a creep that used to stalk one of my good friends. . . . . .*shivers* And, unfortunately, I'm very serious. But that means that you're being realistic, so that's good, right?

He also sounds like the type of psycho that would live on the east coast. :P

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KJ
Comment
KJ commented Comment · Nov 5, 2008

WrittenSoul:

I'm... speechless. Thanks for your review. It was quite overwhelming.

As to your uncertainty to when it's past and present, just thought I should let you know that every other chapter is one of each. Always. I never break the pattern. Since this one is past, the next one will be present. And so on and so forth. Hope this clear that up :)

Thanks for reading. Your guys' support is what keeps me writing.

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WrittenSoul
Review
WrittenSoul wrote a review Review · Nov 5, 2008

Oh jeez! That might have been your best chapter yet! You had me on the edge of my seat once again! I'm heading over to read chapter 11 right now-after I finish this review, that is. I didn't see any mistakes, just pure talent, and as a matter of fact, I agree with Venom-your writing totally belongs there with the great authors (and it's way better than Stephenie Meyer :D). I only have one complaint about this story so far. I think you need to do something about her flashbacks because I get confused as to if it's in the present or past. Maybe you could italicize? I don't know, just a thought I had there, and I was compelled to share! So anyway, I can't wait to read what happens next-good job!
P.S. Your characters are so life-like I can almost see them standing next to me, acting the entire story out! It's a great thing, to write like that. Keep up the good work!

Random avatar
Venom
Review
Venom wrote a review Review · Nov 4, 2008

Wow, KJ, just wow. Your writing belongs on the shelves of bookstores around the world. I enjoy your writing more than Stephenie Meyer's writing. As always, I was not able to find anything that needed to be fixed. Your writing is completely flawless.

It felt like it took forever for you to post this chapter. I was losing my patience, but, now that I have read the chapter, I know it was worth the wait. Please, post the next chapter tonight!

-Venom

User avatar
KJ
Comment
KJ commented Comment · Nov 4, 2008

Angel of Death:

Wow, thanks :oops: You make me want to post the next chapter right now! :roll: But again, thanks for reading. The next chapter is already written and ready to go... I just have to get more reviews and points in.

KJ

Angel of Death wrote a review Review · Nov 4, 2008

OMG!! I love love loved this chapter!

This story is just getting better and I will say this again: This story is way better then Prom Night. I've been waiting for another chapter of this great story and you didn't disappoint. Will Sheldon is my favorite character and I know he shouldn't be but you make it so hard not to like him. Your character is believable and I love the way you described the car. A real beaut ^_^

My heart literally stopped when Will touched her on her cheek. I don't know what I would do in that type of situation but I know for one thing I would not be able to breathe. Well you know I'm not good at pointing out grammatical errors and such but I didn't see any...I think.

I really can't wait for the next chapter.

Keep writing amazing stories,

~Angel



Daddy Long Legs are more closely related to crabs than spiders and somehow the idea of crablike creatures with spider legs that have escaped the entrappings of the primordial sea and now crawl over land and can walk up and down walls and ceilings creeps me more than I can adequately describe.
— Snoink