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139,463 Literary Works • 672,570 Reviews
Hey KJ!
I thought I'd get these two reviews over with before I hid over to look at The Experiment! I'm so happy to read more of this!
Alright, 'nough rambling. Off to read!
I'd reword this. Try: When my brother left, my mind had instantly gone to the one place he used to be unable to find me when we played hide-and-seek as children.
I'd nix this sentence.
You could fuse these two sentences together. Nix the underlined bit and that could be one good sentence.
Whoa! KJ this was great! Don't give up on this, I still believe that this has potential to be published.
Great job,
~Angel
*gold star*
Ohh .
XD
I felt happy and scared at this .
I am one twisted chick :p
Superb as always ;D
Wow! FINALLY!!!!!! I've been waiting so long for this novel to continue. I thought this was absolutely perfect, especially the way the plot's going. Great job. Thanks for posting this.