Young Writers Society

*KJ~

Well, here I am reviewing your Because. And thanks for telling me in our conversations. I really needed the boost in the morning. So you guess what that means?

Your Because novel has truly woken me up and now I know I'll have a happy day. Because of you! Thanks!

Now I haven't read this novel is quite some time, but this chapter really got me into it again. (that's a good thing)

Oh, I'm a little curious, what was Becca watching on the Discovery Channel?

I really love how you portrayed James. Like everyone else said, you wish he was real and that you could actually meet him. He really is like an older brother. And plus, I don't have a brother (only sisters), so I'm stealing James! (for the time being)

I really am going to have to finish this because I really want to know why Sheldon beat the crap out of James. You might already said in the earlier chapters, but I already forgot. Bad, me.

Anywho, I never really saw any mistakes. That shows how improving you are to become a great writer!

Great job!!

*Merry

I really, really, really like James! Not in an awkward way. . . . .

He reminds me of my favorite (and only) older brother.

I also like how the family is involved with everything about her and that they are all close. I find too often that families break apart at the seams when this sort of thing happens. I'm so happy they didn't and that it only made them stronger.

I guess it's kinda like "if it doesn't kill you, it'll only make you stronger", right?

Anyway, wonderful character development and I feel like I know James very well already.

Kels:

I see that people are enjoying this story

As you already know, I think this is your best story so far that you have ever written. You have combined so many elements and made it a flawless horror.

Please don't give up on this until you finish!

I do want to take this moment to point out a few things to you.

1) Sometimes, Will Sheldon plays the perfect pyscho but other times...his emotions were kind of forced Just be careful to get the most realistic you can get with him.

2) James. In the present, he so real. But in the past...I feel disconnected from him. Like, his moods and stuff are really hard to keep up with. Try to connect the two, if you can.

Otherwise, keep up the amazing work!

(and to all of you, I have already read this up to chapter 30! hehe *evil cackle* so yeah, be jealous!)

Finally I am getting to this!

I have three computer classes and yet today all of the teacher's were breathing down my neck. But it's good to be home and out of school!

Anyways, I liked this chapter though I kinda forgot about the whole flashback thingy you have going on so I had to read it again and that just jogged my memory. This story is going to be a success (and it already is) It has everything and a glass of milk ^_^

Though the cliffhangers tear me apart, I've learned to live with it and wait patiently for the next chapter. Sorry if I take some time reading. I have been a brave soul and attempted National novel writing month.

I love James. He just seems like the brother I would like to have. I never knew mine, so its kinda nice to read about him.

All in all, great job again. I can never get tired of this story and if you have some new story or if you ever need something critiqued, you know where to find me.

Ta for now,
~Angel

Compliments to you once again! Another excellent chapter. I didn't see any mistakes, other than the ones Venom pointed out. Oh, and I was just thinking that maybe (after thinking about it for a minute or so, and after posting a reply to your chapter 10) you liked to keep the reader guessing about the flashbacks, so forget what I said on my other review...unless it was helpful of course. So, yeah. I'm happy that you said your next chapter will be out tomorrow or the next day-I can't wait. Okay, I've rambled on enough, so I'm going now. Happy writing!

Venom:

Thanks for reading and pointing out those couple things. I'll be sure to take your advice when editing

Next chapter will be along either tomorrow or the next day. Look for it.

Aw! You posted this just for me. How sweet. Anyway, another excellent chapter. I didn't find anything wrong per say, but I did find two things that I wasn't very sure about.

“Both us already know what I’m going to choose.”

There was a sad smile in James’s voice when he answered: