Hey Jevan13, I see you still have some of your work in the green room, so I hope you don't mind that I'll be reviewing another one of your poems today. As you know, I'm already a fairly big fan of your work. Onto the review, and as usual, feel free to disregard any of my comments or suggestions.
Overall Opinion: Yet another beautifully written poem. This time, dedicated to someone the writer holds dear. The poem seems to emphasize the difference between land, which is viewed as a negative, and the sky, which is viewed as a positive. the person the writer holds dear seems to be the one who soars in the sky as the writer is left to watch them from the land. They are happy, though.
My Suggestion:
Wings signify determination, the mindset of quitting quitting, of never settling for the average.
I'm certain you intended this, "quitting, quitting", however I'm not sure it helps with the flow at all. Purely my opinion, but the repetition of the same word side by side, even if intended, doesn't do the rhythm justice.
What I Liked: The use of the symbolism, "Wings" and the emphasis on land vs. sky. I really love that you utilized this symbolism to put this person you hold dear in such a position of worthy praise. Very well-written poem, yet again. Great job!
I look forward to reading more of your work soon,
Keep writing,
-Katja
Points: 0
Reviews: 156
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