A Friend can be one to confide in,
Or they can be one to fear.
You tell them dark secrets, Secrets that shouldn't see the light,
But only a true friend recognises this plight.
You need to be careful who you speak to.
We are more trusting than we realise
Choose your friends wisely and not just anyone that seems nice
True friends are those who Look into our soul and accept us with darkness and light as a whole
But like any story there are two sides
One side that is in favour of our opinions
One that is secretly deceiving us,
Feeding upon our instinctual tendency to trust.
Trust is a very important aspect of human life
Giving us a reason to love
Or one to hate.
The idea of love is built upon a foundation
That foundation is trust for one doesn't love that which he can't trust.
Even if we are betrayed, once twice thrice
If we still claim to love, that means that there is some modicum of trust that lingers.
But this trust is abused daily, hourly, by the second.
This poem was made for enlightenment
Enlightenment of those who are naive.
Ignorant to the fact that the same thing we hold dear,
May just be the thing that drags us down.
But that same trust builds us up,
Without it, we are just empty meatbags
Paranoid of trusting
Fearing possible consequences,
Which certainly aren't certain.
For like any story there are two sides
One side that is in favour of our opinions
One that is secretly deceiving us,
Feeding upon our instinctual tendency to trust.
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Hi there!
I enjoy the story that's weaved along with the emotions in this poem! The narrative and emotional aspects are strong in this piece where you explore the strains in a relationship on the bounds of trust versus deception. An interesting theme, and not one you see too often.
As far as formatting, I'm not sure that it all needed to be in bold, and you might want to play with the line-breaks & stanza lengths a bit more to even them out a bit (that'll improve the overall flow and appearance).
Other than that, I also thought your word choice was a good blend of formal/informal and you have a few nice metaphors in here as well.
Keep writing poetry! Let me know if you have any questions regarding my review.
Hi Jevan13.
I think this is a very interesting concept that you have decided to write about and one not often explored that deeply, much less published in the public domain. The structure is strong, I think too often poetry is set to a rhythm and rhyming and this clearly deviates from this and creates its own rhythm.
ABC123
Thank you very much for your review. I try to be be a bit unique in writing and I am glad that it hasn't negatively affected the quality.
Radrook here a once again to offer some suggestions.
Apologies if i offend. It isn’t my intention.
Please feel full free to cast aside all things you deem not helpful.
But if you do be sure its true by being extra careful.
That having been said
I'm not sure that this doesn't belong in the essay section. Apart from being organized into stanzas, it seems to be an essay with a specific theme being that trust in others can be both helpful and hurtful. As an essay, the subject is a very deep one and provides the writer the opportunity to provide both personal and historical example of this psychological phenomenon.
The trust that a Roman general Varus had in a German boy Arminius who had been brought up among Romans and whom he considered a son led to the Teuetoburg Forest disaster in which he was killed.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of ... urg_Forest
The trust that Crassus, another Roman general, had in an Arab who advised him to march deep into the Mesopotamian desert led to the slaughter of his 34,000 men. His head was chopped off and put on display in a Parthian play.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Carrhae
How many husbands and wives trust their spouses only to find out later that they had been cheating for years.
The sad thing about trust is that it is essential for sanity and cooperation.
So we must trust wether we like it or not. But as you say, care has to be taken.
Thank you for your feedback, t'is much appreciated. This was not an essay however, it is a poem, so I'm sorry if I did something to cause a mixup as this is my first time on this site. But aside from that thanks for the information on Varus, I heard about him while looking at the Roman empire