As gently as the wind curls its whiskers through the leaves of a Willow Tree,
So is her persona, quietly asserting herself in all situations, lacking much aggression.
The wind speaketh quietly at times, she is the archetype of this,
But as with a tornado we see, that the voice of the wind becomes loud and threatening.
She rarely has a tempestuous day.
She calmly carries the clouds to their destination,
They ride on her peaceful Gale, and they thank her for her service.
She whisks the hair out of my face and carefully maneuvers out of my way, as my fingers reach out to grasp her hand.
She floats away from me, leaving to do her job, and excel as a strong gust, to one day baffle meteorologists with her might.
I sit on my porch looking to the sky watching as she builds her strength, surpassing every expectation that others have.
“ Let me float with you, ” pleads the many,
But she has no time to frolick, no time to waste; She values her accumulation of wisdom and strength so as to lift us all with her one day.
Now I see her, she has developed into a storm, forecasts about her journey are being made, but she just laughs at them.
She will continue to baffle the world, continue to shatter their predictions until that fateful day that she blooms into a hurricane.
But then we sink back into reality, her doe-brown eyes twinkling in the light, questioning where I went to.
I look back and see how similar yet different she is, compared to the wind in my mind.
Had she been a hurricane, it would be in knowledge,
Had she been a storm, it would be in her assertion of authority in certain situations,
Yet as a gale, she gently speaks and expresses herself,
With the fragility of a wisp of smoke.
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140,196 Literary Works • 673,040 Reviews
Hi Jevan13, I am here again to leave you a review! Sorry if you're sick of seeing my review on your work lol, here to clean out the green room, and your work is too wonderful to pass up. As always, feel free to disregard any and all comments or suggestions I offer. On to the review...
This poem seems to be expressing admiration for a young woman who is meek and modest with her actions and her personality. She values knowledge over carlessness.
What I Liked:
As always, my favorite part of your poetry is the vocabulary and use of figurative language in the form of similes and metaphors. You use them so well that I always feel like I'm reading something that's already been published and is apart of classic poetry or something... truly you are GIFTED in poetic writing. I'd love to see how you do with story-writing.
Amazing. Truly, amazing. If this girl was based on someone in real life, you should definitely share this with her. If not, you've created someone I find so believable and admirable, I wouldn't doubt if she is real!
My only suggestion for this poem would be to tweak your format, and at one point, the quotes aren't up against the words, however that is an easy fix and is probably a result of YWS's publishing center which can be finicky at times.
I 100% agree with the below review... You NEED to get these published. Your work is too good not to. I look forward to reading more of your work soon! And if you're up for a challenge or something new, I encourage you to try your hand at story-writing!
Keep writing,
-Katja
My sincere apologies for not responding to your review quickly. Thank you so much for your compliments and suggestions. I will surely remedy the faults that this poem possesses. Also, your guess was spot on, this poem was about someone special to me and I read it to her. Great reaction %uD83D%uDE01
I love this so much, it is amusing, but as I say, this was good a not to be a story, and it needs a bit of fiksing, but not to much of it, quietly asserting herself in all situations, lacking much aggression, this sentens needs a bit of work, I think not to much just a little bit, She whisks the hair out of my face and carefully maneuvers out of my way, I am not so shore about this, I feel last, are you talking about trees, or the wind, or this poesen, this bit is my man con sern I think, but she just laughs at them, but why is she laughing at them, It is a bit wered to me, she gently speaks and expresses herself, this I like most, so that is all that I can say, so keep up with the good work,
From @MoonFlower
Good heavens, you have talent! You really need to get some of this published. Or start a book of your poems!
Wow, I have never thought of my works as that good. Sure they are all apart of me but I never expected this. Thank you for your support and I wish you all the best.