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Young Writers Society



The Ever-Changing Sky

by Jevan13


The blackness of the night sky is littered with stars,

Bodies of hope and light gazing upon many mortal frames.

They seem so distant, so disattached to the world,

That mortals wander about uncaringly under their all knowing gaze.

Some brave ones seek to find out the secret of this omniscient clutter, 

But before they get the chance to, the stars become aware of the plan.

They twinkle mischievously as they prepare to hide under the glare of the sun.

The morning sky is clean, devoid of the litter of stars,

Not a single blemish on the shining blue canvas.

The brilliant Sun shines brightly, but sly clouds sneak in before his glare and his glory is hid.

The land trodders receive a momentary reprieve from the scorching aura,

Going about their business without a care.

The Sun elicits the sympathy of the gentle wind, that soon comes along 

Driving the clever clouds from before the Sun, who beams in gratitude.

Then it all changes, the sky now a tempestuous gray, and the wind rages.

The sly clouds, now a dark gray, fueling the wind's power and fury.

The Sun has departed, for not even he can silence the wind.

Lightning curses as he is awoken from his slumber.

Thunder, his messenger, bellows his fury to the world.

The land dwellers quake in fear, their tiny figures rushing into their lodgings, seeking shelter.

The lightning lashes the clouds furiously, its rage unquenchable.

The clouds cry out in agony, regretful of their trickery, their tears falling as rain.

The rain comes down in torrents, soaking the lush green earth to its brim.

The water now begins to accumulate, flooding the helpless mortals' plane.

The sorrowful clouds know not what they are doing, only able to be sobbing regretfully.

All that they wish for now was an end to their suffering.

The air howls in pain as each lash of electricity rips it apart, earning a boom of thunder.

Lightning's whip crackles across the sky's back and the wind regains its senses.

It was now super heated and charged with energy,

Energy that it used to sweep the sky clean of clouds and all.

The lightning is sent back to slumber along with the thunder, and the clouds cease weeping.

The Sun once more shines in all its glory, and dries the land.

The clouds returned to their milk white complexions and hastily retreated from the sky.

The evening sky is another marvel,

Its canvas is streaked with a variety of colors, pouring from the Sun as it says farewell.

The mischievous stars lose their hiding place, and come out to greet the mortals once again.

The Sun soon disappears under the sea, and the cycle begins anew.


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30 Reviews


Points: 1798
Reviews: 30

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Sat May 19, 2018 10:23 pm
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WritingPrincess wrote a review...



I love this piece! It seems so beautiful and realistic. As I read it, I realised how true your words actually are. To be honest, I wasn’t expecting this to be as good as I found it to be. Well done you.
Now, I really struggled to find any flaws with this. However, I did find something: you have used a lot of uncommon words. Of course, uncommon words are very common in poetry. In this case, though, I think that you may have over used uncommon words. I do love them, but your poem just seemed a bit stuffed full of interesting words.
I do absolutely love this poem. It is a truly brilliant piece and I admire your ability to write such a beautiful poem.




Jevan13 says...


Thanks for your kind words. I am happy that you enjoyed reading.



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43 Reviews


Points: 9
Reviews: 43

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Sat May 19, 2018 7:55 am
Ejay1806 wrote a review...



Hey there!
Ejay here for a review.

I simply loved this piece. It's a visual treat. Your skillful use of metaphors has managed to conjure up a wonderful magic trick. I especially loved your last line due to the fact that it can be applied to numerous situations in real life.
I didn't real find any flaws. I had issues with the spacing between lines, but then, I saw your comment. So that's sorted :)

Keep up the good work.
Do drop by for a review.

Regards,
Ejay




Jevan13 says...


Thanks for the kind words and reassurance that my poem wasn't in need of that much editing. I will take up your offer and do a review for you. Thanks again :)



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23 Reviews


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Reviews: 23

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Fri May 18, 2018 12:42 am
Jevan13 says...



apologies for the lack of spacing guys. The editor refuses to space my paragraphs.




Ventomology says...


It's okay if you just have double spaces between stanzas! It might not look as pretty, but people will get the intention. At least, if that was the meaning behind your comment?



Jevan13 says...


As in my stanzas literally cannot be spaced. I think it is probably to long




All my life I've wanted to be someone; I guess I should have been more specific.
— Jane Wagner