E - Everyone

Tips for Taking Over Summer Camp Chapter 16: At Last, After Sixteen Chapters and too Many Pages Than Necessary We Get to do Some Acting

Chapter Sixteen: At Last, After Sixteen Chapters and Forty-Four Pages, We Get to do Some Acting

Our stomachs full, we hobbled down a little rocky path just beside our cabin. It was so narrow that we had to walk in a single file line and it was ridden with strangely shaped roots that stuck up from the ground. Above us, branches interlocked their wooden fingers, barely allowing dappled light to filter through in little specks. Ferns waved at us next to the trail as we passed and a yellow bird would occasionally flutter from a sturdy tree ahead.

After a couple of minutes of marching, we broke past two bushes that grew very close together and into a large clearing. A large wooden stage with vibrant purple curtains sat on the far side, followed by a pack of large stumps. The ground was blanketed with rust-coloured needles and umber leaves, as was most of the stage.

“Welcome to our outdoor theater,” Cora said, throwing out her arms grandly, “The place where we will be practicing our theater-related skills over the course of the summer.”

“What will we be doing today?” Rowan inquired.

“Today, our assignment is to play some theater games and then we will discuss scriptwriting,” Cora explained.

She directed us all onto the stage and and explained a complicated-sounding game to us that involved letters of the alphabet, facial expressions, and yelling Boop! It took us almost two hours to get a hang of the rules, most of which composed of us having a large number of laugh attacks (Griffin even chuckled a little), but we were soon playing the game like pros.

“Ok,” Cora said at last, standing up, “That was your last round.”

Several awws came from us as we gave her pathetic looks.

“Buuuuut,” Cora continued, “We’re doing an exciting script writing workshop!”

Some of us perked up, but Christian and Silvia were still wearing looks of defeat.

“The thing about scripts,” our councillor continued, “Is that it’s very unlike writing stories. It is made of mostly dialogue, so that’s what you use to move a story along. But the key to good dialogue is that it cannot be robotic, meaning that it has to sound natural or it won’t work.

“Another thing about scriptwriting is that there are no details, or a lack of it. That makes dialogue even more important.” She pulled some paper and pencils out of her book bag. “Your job is to create a scene with a minimum of three characters where here is somewhat of a story.”

She quickly distributed our supplies and we got to work immediately, brainstorming ideas and writing down lines.

I tapped my pencil to my chin. What should I write? I thought. Three bears eating someone’s beard? No, where could I go with that? How about pieces of paper that wage war on pencils? A broad smile stretched across my face. Perfect.

I quickly began to scribble down words, my eyes growing more intense. I could feel the excitement of wanting to tell this story vibrate through me as my pencil scraped feverishly over the crisp white sheet. A lot of time passed and the sun was slowly started its descent, though I did not notice. Within a few lines, my story grew and grew and before I knew it, I had flipped over to the other side of the page. With every precious word, my pencil became quicker and quicker. I felt like the characters were my best friends, the ones I knew everything about. I knew the story like that back of my hand, but that didn’t stop it from expanding.

At last, my pencil was a flat stub of graphite and I couldn’t squeeze another word under the crunched letters. I was about to ask for some new paper and maybe a new pencil, but I was interrupted by Christian.

“Ugh!” he complained. “Scriptwriting is such a mystery.”

Silvia gasped. “Link!”

Cora rose to her feet. “What?”

“He disappeared during capture the flag,” she reported.

Cora shook her head. “Oh no. Oh no, oh no oh no oh no ohnoohnoohnoohno!”

Griffin looked up from his page. “What’s the matter?” he muttered.

“We forgot about Link!” I exclaimed.

Comments & reviews · 2
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User avatar
Evander
Review

Heyo, Holo! I'm back with another review!

First big thing: the chapter titles are getting a little long and unnecessary in some places? While it does certainly add character to Molly, it also doesn't really apply to Molly and her thought process all of the time. This chapter title quite literally breaks the fourth wall and unless this is Molly documenting about her time after summer camp, all of these don't really add all that much humor.

She directed us all onto the stage and and explained a complicated-sounding game to us that involved letters of the alphabet, facial expressions, and yelling Boop!

That honestly sounds really interesting. They managed to get through two hours of it in one paragraph and the characters were upset when they finished it. Wouldn't it make sense to at least give the reader a bit more info about the game? :p I mean, we were only given three components of the game and there's only so much difficulty you can have with a game that only have three components.

Feel free to take this with a grain of salt. While writing is fun and while reading is fun, reading about someone learning how to scriptwrite isn't all that fun. I love books where the authors talk about their writing process, believe me. But this is a novel about summer camp. While scriptwriting might be one part of theatre camp, it isn't always the most interesting subject. Especially since Cora basically listed all of the rules and then we didn't see any of what anyone had written.

A lot of time passed and the sun was slowly started its descent, though I did not notice.

That right there was super awkward. Her noticing that the sun had set would have worked later, after she had already written a lot and found that her pencil was only a stub. (If she hadn't noticed that the sun had set, then why point it out? Since she's the viewpoint character, the readers she typically only know what's happening from her head.)

At last, my pencil was a flat stub of graphite and I couldn’t squeeze another word under the crunched letters.

How many pages of paper did she have and how small is her handwriting? Unless the pencil was particularly small to begin with, then she probably wouldn't have ran out so soon. How many pieces of papers had she managed to go through to actually make that much of a difference to the length?

I don't have that much more to say for this chapter! The whole thing with Link being missing was a bit unexpected but exciting. Hopefully you will keep on writing!

~Adrian, Knight of RED

User avatar
Rin321
Review
Rin321 wrote a review · Sat Jan 30, 2016 4:00 pm

Hey HolographicLadybug! CHRISSY321 here again to review your last chapter!-Until you past more!

This chapter was great. I am again happy that they did get food at the end of the last chapter! I think that their outdoor theater actually sounds pretty cool! I was able to clearly imagine the entire chapter, and that is amazing! I want to point out many things that I loved, but also ONE SMALL MISTAKE! haha! :P

One error:

“The thing about scripts,” our councillor continued, “Is that it’s very unlike writing stories. It is made of mostly dialogue, so that’s what you use to move a story along. But the key to good dialogue is that it cannot be robotic, meaning that it has to sound natural or it won’t work.


You forgot the first quotation mark's little friend at the end of that! You broke into another paragraph where she began talking again, and you started that with a separate quotation mark, so I think you just forgot to add this one :P

I love how you had the several acting games going on at first. Have you actually done them before-I have, and you pretty much nailed how they work! That is why I love doing theater stuff!

Okay, I really like the idea Molly had. The thing is-that sounds like something I would come up with!

Poor Link! I forgot about him too! Wasn't he the one who save Molly during capture the flag? Or wait-I can't remember! I shall check later! Poor Link is somewhere starving and alone tagged in the woods :( You better go make them save him!

Overall I really liked this chapter, along with it's imagery and other literary elements, and you are just rocking this book! PLEASE tag me when you write the next chapter! PLEASE!!!

You are NOT allowed to stop writing! :D
Chrissy <3

@CHRISSY321 ! @CHRISSY321 ! @CHRISSY321 ! @CHRISSY321 ! @CHRISSY321 ! @CHRISSY321 ! @CHRISSY321 ! @CHRISSY321 ! @CHRISSY321 ! @CHRISSY321 ! @CHRISSY321 ! There. I tagged you. :P

I've done a few acting games but this one is a fictional one that I made up using random words.

Aw, I'm not allowed to stop writing? Aw man! :(
;)



Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.
— Brené Brown