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Tips for Taking Over Summer Camp Chapter 2: What Kind of a Camp Name is that?

by HolographicLadybug


Chapter Two: What Kind of a Camp Name is That?

It literally felt as if the world crashed to the bottom of the universe at that moment. All of the great camp memories replayed through my head: my name on my bunk which I had signed with pen when I was seven, cliff-diving with Junior Councillor Talia, roasting marshmallows with my cabin mates, the Mini-Olympic games that we held last year… They were all gone. With a depressed sigh, I admitted to myself that I would never get to return to those memories. Ever.

A bucket’s worth of tears started to well up in my eyes, threatening to spill. “Oh…”

“But then comes the good news,” Dad said, appearing in the doorway.

Like Mom, Dad was also very muscular, but he was way leaner than her. His face wore a short red beard and his head was filled with beautiful red hair, much like my own.

My face brightened up slightly. “What good news?”

“We’ve found you a new camp,” Dad continued. “It’s called Citric Acid Lake Arts Camp. CALAC for short.”

“Citric Acid Lake? What kind of camp name is that?”

“Well, the lake itself is called ‘Citric Acid Lake’, so it’s not the camp’s fault.”

“What’s great about this camp is that it’s a camp for kids your age who like theatre, art, and music,” Mom added excitedly.

I felt a twinge of excitement. “Really? That sounds so cool!”

“So, what camp do you want to go into? You’ve got the three options,” Dad asked.

“Theatre! Theatre! Theatre!” Excitement coursed through my body and I started to jump up and down. A new camp! New friends! A camp especially for my greatest passion! The thought that Citric Acid Lake Arts Camp wouldn’t be as good as Newwodtunrub picked at the back of my mind, but was ignored. I couldn’t believe that I would get to go to a camp for acting.

Mom took my hand and led me inside. As we walked past the light orange walls and wide red picture frames that contained beautiful pictures of the wilderness, my mind buzzed with excitement. A new camp meant different types of fun and awesome new memories. Maybe I would make a few friends as well.

We arrived into our dining room and I was hit with the mouth-watering scents of dinner. The room was lined by fancy glass cabinets that contained glimmering glass cups and pristine plates. The table was set into the centre of the room, covered by a burgundy tablecloth and flanked by three chairs. Set onto the table were three plates adorned with a bed of steaming rice, plump strips of beef, and golden bits of corn. We got seated and quickly started to devour the meal.

“I would never believe that you would chose to go to the theatre side of it,” Mom joked sarcastically in between bites.

Theatre had always been my passion. I first decided that I wanted to be an actor when I was nine. My parents and I had gone to a play (strangely, I cannot remember the name) and the actors where so amazing. Their acting was so good that I thought that most of the things where actually happening. A few things went wrong, though. Some of the actors missed their cues and a few props broke, but they improvised on the spot, making it seem like it was planned all along.

Around a month after the play, I auditioned for the Tempest with an experienced theatre company and got a somewhat small role. But despite my role, the directors told me that if I continued to act, I would find myself in bigger productions outside of our small town. That made me super excited.

“Oh, it was so hard to choose between that, my singing voice which is like nails on a chalkboard, and my terrible stick figures,” I responded, rolling my eyes. “So what kind of activities will we be doing at camp?”

Dad set his fork onto his plate. “Well, you’ll be doing the basic acting stuff, scriptwriting, learning how to do lights and sound, doing directing stuff, prop building, all that. You’ll also be doing all of the classic camp things like roasting marshmallows and lighting fires.”

I smiled giddily. “When do I leave?”

“In a week,” Mom replied.

“A week?” I exclaimed. “That’s so long away. How dare you make me wait so long!”

Mom only shrugged. “It’s not us. It’s the camp.”

I frowned slightly. Why did CALAC have to take so long to start? Newwodtunrub started only three days after school ended.

Suddenly, I realized that I had no idea where Citric Acid Lake was. Newwodtunrub was just outside of town, but I had never heard of Citric Acid Lake before today. It couldn’t be too far away, right?

“Where’s the camp, anyway?” I inquired.

Mom and Dad exchanged nervous looks. Uh-oh. That usually means something bad.

“How long of a drive is it?” I asked, concerned.

Mom tapped her fingers together nervously before answering. “Uh, we’re going to have to drive for two days.”

Oh no.


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69 Reviews


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Tue Apr 12, 2016 1:09 pm
NympheaLily wrote a review...



Top of the morning, NympheaLily here!

I love the suspense you put int this story and the start of a rising climax. I have a feeling this camp won't be quite what she (Molly) imagined it to be... I may be wrong, but I have trust issues with books. However, this I can just tell, can be a very good story. I will keep it up and keep giving you reviews.

I didn't see any punctuation or spelling errors (again ;P) and the plot flowed very nicely. I did see some minor word displacement or words missing, but that didn't sway me from the plot. I would love to keep reading these stories and I'll get on top of it! And as always, KEEP THOSE FINGERS TYPING!
Ciao!
~NympheaLily




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Sun Jan 31, 2016 10:04 pm
TriSARAHtops wrote a review...



Hey HolographicLadybug! I noticed that you had a few chapters of this in the Green Room, so I thought I'd drop by with a review this fine Review Day. I've read through Chapter One, so I know what's going on, but I feel like this chapter is a little more in need of reviews. Let's get to it, shall we?

You've got a pretty solid character voice so far, and Molly's personality and sense of humour is super evident. Voice is one of the most important things in establishing a character connection, and if you keep Molly's voice strong and distinctive throughout the story, your readers will thank you for it.

There's something of a rule in writing about not using too many exclamation marks in your writing. I noticed a lot here, and whilst there's nothing wrong with occasionally bending the rules, and they do speak of Molly's fairly dramatic personality, I think it's still worth being careful not to overuse them. If you have too many exclamation marks (especially early on in your story), you can run the risk of making them lose their effect to the reader - so later on, that really intense scene when everyone's yelling doesn't seem as intense. Solution? Play about with the words you use - try to find stronger, more powerful words - and also play around with italics, perhaps, for emphasis. There's no problem with the odd exclamation mark, but just be careful not to have too many.

I feel like maybe you should allude to Molly's interest in theatre earlier on in the story. It didn't feel too out of the blue here, but I think it would be more effective if there were some references to Molly's passion for theatre in chapter one. Perhaps she compares someone to a character in a play, or she uses some kind of theatre terminology to describe her situation. It's often the little, subtle details that contribute the most to character development, so to really make Molly feel well-rounded, it's important to consider how her passion leaks into her everyday life as well.

I'm liking the light-hearted kind of style you have going on (even if it's a bit different for me because I'm usually angst-angst-angst), although I'm hoping we'll see a bit more variation as time goes on and conflicts develop. It's quite engaging, and that's something that will take you far.

An sort of general area to work on would be trying to "show" more, instead of telling. A lot of the time, we're learning about Molly and those around her by Molly telling us through the narration. Instead of relying on narration to inform the readers about different characters, try using the action to help us get acquainted with them. Part of this comes from weaving description in amongst the action and dialogue, and part of it comes from also trusting your readers to pick up on the character traits that you're trying to show them. It's a skill that takes time to develop, and I know it's something I need to work on, but it's important, and makes your work feel stacks more believable and real when you get the hang of it.

I'll probably have time to review the next chapter today, but that's it for this review. This was an enjoyable chapter, and I'm looking forward to seeing where the story goes next.

Let me know if you have any questions, and happy writing!






Thanks for the very helpful review. I'll make sure to fix the things you've mentioned. :)



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Sun Jan 31, 2016 9:21 pm
cpedro wrote a review...



Hello HolographicLadybug, here for a review!

So the first thing I noticed between this chapter and the last one is that you slightly improved your writing. The descriptions seem to flow smoothly now and don't seem so forced, so congrats on that.

Now about the story itself, it has a Percy Jackson vibe and his very easy-going, allowing the reader to spend a nice time reading the story without thinking too much about it. It's like wacthing this girl's everyday life, much so as a personal diary for the reader. All in all it's a fun read (I mean that camp name is really something else...).

I'm just curious though about something. Maybe you already mention it before but I did catch it. What's Molly's age?

I'll go to the next chapter now!
Keep writing!






Thanks for reviewing my chapter! :) (Much appreciated!)
I actually haven't mentioned it at all yet, but Molly is thirteen.
As for the Percy Jackson thing, that is completely unintentional. I have actually never read the books or knew that my story was like that.
Thanks again! :)



cpedro says...


You're welcome! :D
Ah ok, I wasn't sure about her age. Sometimes I tought she was older, other times younger. But thirteen definitely agrees with your character's dialogue and thoughts!



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Sun Jan 24, 2016 4:05 pm
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Rin321 wrote a review...



Hello again HolographicLadybug! CHRISSY321 back to review your next chapter!

I again enjoyed this chapter as well as I did with the last. :) I like how you are able to show how much that the camp meant the Molly when she found out that it burned down. This shows how much she valued it, and how she would have to get used to going to this new camp. You also help us find out more about Molly that we really did not know about her in the previous chapter. There is on thing that needs to be fixed though:

Theater had always been my passion. I first decided that I wanted to be an actor when I was nine. My parents and I had gone to play (strangely, I cannot remember the name) and the actors where so amazing.


I think you meant 'My parents and I had gone to A play"

(I respect how you said my parents and I, not me and my parents ;) )

Also, I think you need to tell us why it is so bad that it is a two day drive. You just have her think 'Oh no' and you don't tell us why. I think that is something you need to inform us, or if you do in the next chapter, maybe bring it to the end of this chapter-yet I do like how you end it with 'Oh no' because I think it is a great solid ending to a chapter. I think you could be good either way!

I am excited to keep reading-you keep writing! :D
Chrissy





Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity.
— Charles Mingus