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Tips for Taking Over Summer Camp Chapter 19: Definition of Rowan: Not Supportive at All

by HolographicLadybug


Chapter Nineteen: Definition of Rowan: Not Supportive at All

There was a shocked silence that enveloped both of us as we stared at the marks in the wood. Rowan’s mouth opened and closed slightly, obviously trying to fabricate what she wanted to say. I kind of wished that she would just say something to break the silence. However, I couldn’t even bring myself to say something either.

A crow screamed in the distance, causing us to jump. Rowan stifled a giggle and got to her feet, lending me her hand to help me up. I accepted and, despite the indication that we might get to do something, we just stared at each other.

“Link!” I exclaimed, shattering the silence.

Rowan’s eyes widened and she slapped herself lightly on her cheek. “Shoot! Ok, we need to do something.”

I placed my hands to my hips. “No, really?

“Ok, ok. Accidental. What is it? Plan you have?” She shook her head. “Sorry. So what’s the plan, Molly?”

I thought about it for a few moments, wishing that I actually had a plan and hoping that Rowan wouldn’t realize that. Why is it that I would be asked questions that I had no answer for? At the same time, why did I keep trying to take charge? I never actually had a plan, it seemed.

I looked up in frustration, trying to see the plump clouds from in between the thick branches. Then it suddenly came to me.

“Rowan!” I exclaimed, snapping back to her. “You found me this morning via the trees, so why aren’t you doing that now?” My eyes narrowed slightly. “We could cover more ground.”

The girl smiled smugly, jumped up, and grabbed hold of a twisty pine branch, sending several needles towards the ground. “I thought that you’d never remember.” She swung back and fourth twice before pulling herself up and reached for another branch. “Why not suggest sooner?”

I could feel my eye twitching. Is it just me or are conversations with that girl worse than those with Cordelia? Why does Rowan have to be so aggravatingly complicated? Argh!

I stamped my foot and uttered a cry of frustration. Several birds squawked and launched themselves from a nearby tree at the sound of my outburst. I punched the crumbly bark of Rowan’s tree, ignoring the stinging pain in my wrist afterward. I hit it again with the same hand, harder this time.

A wave of pain swept through my lower arm instantly, causing me to cry out in alarm. I clutched my arm and sunk to the ground. My knuckles were scraped and bleeding and a most of my nails were cracked or broken. My arm was tinged scarlet and pain pulsed from my fingers and wrist. I wondered why I had decided to do something so stupid and let out a small groan.

Molly! You stupid girl!

I glanced up at Rowan, only to see that she was no longer there. I frowned deeply, looking further up the tree. Nope. No Rowan. In trees nearby? No.

“Wow, thanks Rowan,” I muttered dryly.

Clutching my arm to my chest, I waited out the pain and soon the sun was directly above me, dipping me in its golden glow. The worst of it had subsided by then and only a dull throb remained. I got up and looked around for my ‘friend’ one more time before heading off past the shed, where the music camp’s territory this morning did not reach.

As I treaded through an ocean of emerald green ferns the size of palm tree leaves, I began to wonder if the others had found Link by now. What if they were waiting for me? What if time was already up? I instinctively reached towards my pocket to check my phone but then remembered that Cora had taken them during breakfast. Wonderful.

I took a glance up at the sun, possibly hoping that maybe that it would grow two eyes and a mouth and kindly tell me the time. No such luck.

What if the thing that may have taken Link also took Rowan and that’s why she wasn’t in the tree?

That thought made my steady pace come to a halt. What if these woods weren’t really a safe place to be? What if there was a psycho kidnapper on the loose? Or worse?

I shook my head. Wouldn’t I have heard a struggle?

I tried to move forward, but was frozen. The pain in my arm was gone, replaced by a numb feeling that had taken over most of my body. I could feel my instincts screaming at me to run from the danger, but the rest of me refused to listen. My mind was a complete blank.

A bird called in the distance, but it was unlike any I had ever heard. It was kind of squawky and ended on a high-pitched note. The sudden noise made me jump and I fled, crashing noisily through the underbrush. Several squirrels who were climbing up nearby trees bolted up heir trunks and chattered angrily at me. I paid no attention, only focusing on getting away from…well, (like the subject that Mr. Lumpert taught) I wasn’t quite sure.

Just as the ferns turned into thick bushes, I stopped, looking around like a cat who had just heard a mouse scrambling over some crunchy leaves. There had been a crashing noise a little bit off to my right. I played with the thought that it was only me, but I knew that it couldn’t be possible. While I stomped through the bushes, I made quick yet loud noises, while the other noise was long and alternated its loudness.

As I waited for the noise to happen again, my gaze ran wildly around the scenery, looking for the cause. I could see a patch of small flowers further ahead and a delicate wall of spiders’ webs in one of the trees above me. A bush that was dotted with crimson cherries that looked like pimples sat under a tall tree with a sturdy-looking trunk and long branches that seemed to reach towards me.

Where is the…thing that caused that noise? I wondered. Could it have been Link? That made me gasp a little.

However, there was nothing and I continued to trudge forward, still on high alert for any more noises.

I went on for a while longer before I was absolutely certain that our time limit was up and I should have returned to the campground by then. But that was when reality struck me: I was lost.

“No, no, no, no, no!” I murmured, my voice coated with panic. I turned madly as if searching for a magical portal back to camp. “I cannot be lost. I cannot be lost. I cannot be lost!”

I began to feel myself shaking nervously. I felt so small amongst this endless expanse of trees and other plantation. My arm began to throb violently and I clutched it to my chest tightly. Tears began to well up in my eyes, causing my vision to go misty and blurred.

There was nothing I could do. Everyone was probably waiting for me to come back with Link by now or trying to figure out where I was. Bethany could be expelling us all right now! I could be here all night and starve to death. I could never find my way back to civilization and go mad. I could be eaten by wolves or get killed by whatever had caused those scratches on the shed. Worse, I could never get to act again.

“ROOOWWWAAAAANNNNN!” I yelled desperately.

Nothing. Not even a forest creature fleeing from my screams.

“ROWAN!” I tried again. “CORA! ANYBODY! CALL IF YOU COULD HEAR ME!”

I waited for a response, but nothing was my only feedback. Not only until I heard the buzz of a nearby bug, did I continue to saunter through the forest, hoping that I would maybe come across something before I died.

Just as I cleared the swarm of bushes and started to walk along the mossy bank of a trickling stream, did I hear something: the strange bird’s call.


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Wed Feb 24, 2016 12:30 pm
KaiRyu says...



:O !!!!!!!! This is beautiful!!!




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Tue Feb 16, 2016 10:34 pm
Steggy wrote a review...



Hello, hello!

I haven't read the previous chapters, so feel free to ignore any misconceptions for this following chapter or anything before. Anyway. In the beginning of this chapter, I am confused. It could be since I haven't read the previous chapters, or the wording seems a little off. Either way, I suggest reading it over yourself.

I could see Rowan’s mouth opening and closing slightly, obviously trying to fabricated what she wanted to say. I kind of wished that she would just say something to break the silence, but I didn’t blame her. I couldn’t even bring myself to say something either.


"fabricated" doesn't sound quite right here- perhaps "formulate what she wanted to say"? Another thing is the following sentence is a little weak in my opinion. Without any context, the reader can be easily confused. Maybe try removing ".... but I didn't blame here."

I thought about it for a few moments, wishing that I actually had a plan and hoping that Rowan wouldn’t realize that. Why is it that I would be asked questions that I had no answer for? At the same time, why did I keep trying to take charge? I never actually had a plan, it seemed.


When I read this in my head, it seems a little repeated. I can infer that she doesn't have a plan, and from common knowledge, doesn't want the other person to think "oh, this person doesn't have a plan. We are completely doomed" or something. A suggestion while we are at it, italicize the person's thoughts since for all we know, the narrator is speaking these words aloud. It seems throughout this chapter, you're missing the thought portion of the narrator. As I said before, go back and read over. That way you can see what needs to be spoken or thought. I crossed off "it seemed" since doesn't sound exactly right or fit within the sentence.

I took a glance up at the sun, possibly hoping that maybe that it would grow two eyes and a mouth and kindly tell me the time. No such luck.


What an unpleasant image. :P

The ending of this chapter seems a little abrupt and confusing.

Just as I cleared the swarm of bushes and started to walk along the mossy bank of a trickling stream, did I hear something.

The strange bird’s call.


It seems to start off nicely then goes off into a question like sentence, which is fine. However the following sentence, it seems to be drifting on it's own without a lifeboat or something. Perhaps pair the ending with the previous paragraph or expand more on the ending. Add some descriptions of the bird and how the character might react.

If you like me to go over anything, let me know!

Steggy






Thank you for the review! I will make sure to do some edits right away.



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Fri Feb 12, 2016 2:18 am
Rin321 wrote a review...



Hello HolographicLadybug! CHRISSY321 here back again to review! :D

*cough tookyoulongenough cough cough* :P


I think that this was another great chapter! I think it is mysterious and just makes me wonder what really goes on in that forrest! Now, I just want to point some areas of this chapter that I really liked so you could know specifically what elements of your writing are great to repeat and use in the future! :D There is nothing from what I saw to correct, so I think that is great on your part!

I paid no attention, only focusing on getting away from…well, (like the subject that Mr. Lumpert taught) I wasn’t quite sure.


I thought that this was just funny and perfect. You took this situation, and just added more and more details that really helped this story become awesome! Using these examples and other comparisons (though don't go crazy with it) make a story more funny, and relatable! Now was this the teacher that called the class turds in the first chapter? (I forgot)

“ROOOWWWAAAAANNNNN!” I yelled desperately.


Now remember in past reviews where I would say that adding all the letters was too much? Well yeah, definitely not the case here! I think it was great to use and the dialogue because you can almost hear Molly yelling out because you can almost imagine it with the way you have it all stretched out! Along with you description of her fear, and having this, it helped me really imagine and see in my mind what was going on! :D

Overall this was a great chapter and I cannot wait to read more! Off the review 20! :D Please keep Writing!
~Chrissy <3





sweet mother of asparagus
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