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Tips for Taking Over Summer Camp Chapter 6: Please Don't Kill Me, Rowan!

by HolographicLadybug


Chapter Six: Please Don’t Kill Me, Rowan!

Rowan is going to kill me! I thought. That’s why she’s the only theatre newcomer here: she kills them all. Either that or she scares them all off. She’s completely psycho!

Rowan observed me with wide eyes as I stood next to my bunk. I could feel every hair on my back sticking up, one by one. My limbs shook like one of those massage chairs. I thought about saying something, but I was scared to even move. But what could I do? Rowan could lunge at me at any moment.

That was when my eyes hit the door. If I bolt out of here quickly, I thought, I could escape.

I savoured the thought for a moment before reality hit me. But then what? I could go and warn Cora, but I guess that she must already know. She did say that Rowan was nice. That was clearly false, though. So did that mean that Cora was all in for killing me as well?

After a few more moments of thinking about it, I decided that running would probably be my best option. It took all I had to manage to move my shaking legs, but before I knew it, I was darting towards the door like a champion sprinter.

“Please don’t leave!” a voice called.

My body froze in mid-step and I looked back at Rowan who was now on the ground. She was standing this time, like a normal person. Her hair flowed over her shoulders like a messy waterfall and she had her hands clasped sweetly behind her back. If anyone had come in at that moment, they would have thought that Rowan was just a regular girl, but I knew better.

“I’m sorry if I scared you,” she said. Her voice was quick and rushed.

I managed to turn my entire body so that I faced her. “Um, really?” There was an edge in my voice that made me sound like I highly doubted that. While this was true, I did not want her to know that.

She nodded once. “Yes. Do not run, relax.”

“Yeah, so you can murder me in my sleep?” Oh no. That came out harshly. Really harshly. My hands flinched, wanting to clasp over my mouth, but I didn’t want to show any weakness in front of somebody like Rowan.

However, Rowan seemed unphased by my aggression. That made me wonder if this wasn’t the first time that someone had been this unwilling to trust her.

“I’m no murderer,” she said. I could not detect any negative emotion—or emotion at all—from her voice. Good. “I simply want to get to know you.”

I shrank back towards the door, clouds of thought storming my mind. I wondered if she would try to gain my trust and try to sell me for slavery or kill me in my sleep. What is wrong with this girl?

Rowan gave me a slight smile. “Molly, I want to be your friend. I do not want to kill you or hurt you. I am just a somewhat regular kid who loves acting, like you.”

I wasn’t sure why, but her reassurances made me calm down a little. Not much, but just enough for my tiny back hair to stop sticking up.

But I was still unsure. “How can I trust you?”

Rowan sat down and folded her legs underneath her. She looked up at me with her big eyes, examining me again. “See as how there is nothing I can do to calm you down right now, the least I can do is to just gain your trust.”

I snorted. “Yeah, good luck!” Whoops! That came out very aggressive again. “Um, sorry. I didn’t mean to sound so mean.” That came out in an uncontrollable rush, making me wonder if I could even control my own voice anymore;

Rowan gave me her small smile again and my doubt seemed to fade again, making me wonder why her smile had so much reassuring power to it. “It is fine. Stress. Understand. May I help you unpack?”

Suddenly, the stormy clouds of negativity were destroyed, revealing a vast sky filled with curiosity. I wondered if maybe the psycho girl wasn’t really a psycho after all. Maybe she could be a really great friend? Then some of the clouds returned and I vowed to keep an eye on that girl.

“Suuuuuurrrrre,” I said, dragging out the word as if it were a heavy fish from a slimy lake. I began towards my luggage slowly, keeping a slight eye on my cabin mate.

Rowan jumped up from her position on the floor and hauled one of the suitcases onto the bed. She quickly zipped it open and tossed the top from the bottom, revealing my huge collection of books. Volumes of all shapes and sizes were arranged neatly into short stacks. The tales ranged from magical fantasy to strange science fiction to spooky short stories, but never romance or realistic fiction. There were books of all titles. Some were a few years old, while others had been just released. There was even a copy of a book that was over a hundred years old.

“Whoa!” Rowan gasped. “That’s a lot of books. Can I check them out?”

“Sure,” I replied, sitting on the bed beside the suitcase, “Knock yourself out.”

She then leaped onto the bed on the other side of the bag, shifting a few books from their positions. She then lifted one pile and started to lay out the books, examining the titles and covers and reading their descriptions.

She asked me a few questions about some of them and I found myself deep in conversation with her. We talked about different books we read, what books we hated, and which ones we loved.

I unexpectedly found myself laughing along with her as we joked about characters and plots. I ended up forgetting that I should have been scared of her, but I didn’t care at that point. All that mattered was having fun.

After we went through all of my books, Rowan brought out her own. She had about fifteen of them, most sporting many rips or bumps. The majority of the bunch were around six-hundred pages long with tiny font. Her collection held mainly fantasy books and we even had some of the same titles.

We talked and laughed some more and before we knew it, the sun was gone from the sky and Rowan was forced to turn on the light. The light turned out to be very dim and soft, almost cozy. Our eyes took some time to adjust, but we were soon back to the books.

Suddenly, as our eyes started to sting from tiredness and our yawns became more frequent, the door opened. My head snapped towards the doorway where Cora stood next to a tall girl. They were both barely recognizable in the light so I could only make out their dim silhouettes.

“You girls are still up?” Cora asked, coming into the cabin. “You should be getting to bed soon.” She gestured to the tall girl beside her. “This is Silvia, your last cabin mate.”

By now I could see the girl perfectly. She looked like she was around fourteen with long blonde hair. Her cheeks were dotted with light freckles and her cobalt eyes were very sharp and gleamed with some sort of intensity. She was very slender and moved with grace like a dancer and carried a single backpack which she clutched in her hand. She smiled at us faintly as if she were pleased to be meeting us.

“Well, I’ll leave you girls to get acquainted,” Cora continued as she turned towards the door, “But you should be getting to bed soon. You will be waking up at seven tomorrow.” With that, she shut the door behind her.

I looked over at Rowan who was staring at Silvia with wide eyes. However, she seemed to be staring at her more intensely that she had stared at me when I first came in.

Silvia, on the other hand, was starting to look very nervous under Rowan’s gaze. I pitied her silently, hoping that she wouldn’t freak out.

“Don’t worry,” I said, “I think she does that to everyone.”


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69 Reviews


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Thu Apr 14, 2016 2:26 am
NympheaLily wrote a review...



Top of the morning, Nymphealily here!

I love the way that Rowan went form 'omgscarycatladyshesgonnakillmeomgomgomg' to 'Heyo! Book worm friend!" The way that Molly and Rowan got to know each other really reminds me of my own friends. When Sylvia came in, I was like 'oh no is she a masterminded villain??" As you know, I have trust issues, but no matter...

I like all of the descriptors you use in this part of your story and I know this is getting a little old, but your transitions are flawless. I mean, they are as smooth as rich, melted chocolate and even more fun to read. Keep up the good work and as always KEEP THOSE FINGERS TYPING!
Ciao!
~NympheaLily




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Thu Feb 04, 2016 10:35 am
TriSARAHtops wrote a review...



Me again!

Another interesting chapter. Still have no idea how to feel about Rowan, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Looks like a character with some conflicting layers, and so long as you don't completely neglect scary-Rowan going into future chapters, I think she'll be a really interesting character.

I noticed it a little in the previous chapter and here as well. but Rowan's dialogue is a little weird. She doesn't really sound like a person, which feels like a deliberate choice on your part, I think? Even if it's not, I think it works, although I wouldn't mind seeing a little reaction from Molly along the lines of "something weird about the way she constructs her sentences" (but less reviewer-y). Even as she's acting more normally, she's still giving off a weird vibe. Molly's reaction to her is a lot of fun - I like how she instantly jumps to the worse case scenario, and the development to her feeling more at ease around Rowan worked quite well. Would maybe like to see a little more to the moment where Molly realises she's forgotten to be wary of Rowan, but otherwise I'm quite pleased with the progression.

I'm going to try and getting too "show don't tell!" on you, but no guarantees. It's not so much a case of "don't tell" as it is "show more", anyway. My words aren't working very well tonight, so sorry in advance if this is more rambly than normal. I've spoken in previous reviews about the fact that some bits of your chapters don't feel "in the moment" (I need to come up with another phrase to describe it), and it kind of feels like the narration is taking a step back, becoming a little distant. There's a little bit of that going on in this chapter, where Molly and Rowan are bonding over their respective book collections.

I think in this case, it would be super helpful to show a little more of the two girls. Snippets of dialogue would make this feel more like it's happening rather than just being recounted. I also think it would help in the transition from book-gawking to Silvia being introduced. Plus! It would be an opportunity for further character development, which is always a good thing.

Is dinner not a thing at this camp? XD So I've never been to a summer camp (just school camps), but I imagine they would have gotten called to dinner at some point?

Not much else to say, I don't think. On the whole, it does feel like your chapters are gradually improving as they go along, which is what you want to happen. Looking forward to seeing where the story goes next!




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Sun Jan 31, 2016 11:49 pm
cpedro wrote a review...



Hi again! (God! Doesn't this girl stop?) ;)

Ok, now this chapter is a real come back! It's very good and there's nothing to question about it. You even show another trait of Molly's personality here, which is imagination (and I mean for a thirteen girl, this girl has some crazy ideas!). When she gets this all idea of murder and Rowan being a pyscho is just freaking hilarious! Who would think like that? Ahaha

On another note and considering what I said on the last chapter about it being too small and the need to have a follow up on their interaction. I think you could fix it by pulling the begining of this chapter until the 'Please, don't leave!' sentence to the previous chapter. Like this it would not afect any of the chapters, it would keep the flow of the story and improve your last chapter tremendously! Just an opinion though.

-“It is fine. Stress. (I) understand. May I help you unpack?” , it flows better like this.

-'Volumes of all shapes and size(d)x(s) were arranged neatly into short stacks.'

Ok, this was the last one............. today! ;)
Review Day is almost over and I need rest but I'll promise to come again and continue to follow your great story!
See you soon and keep writing!






Thank you for all of the reviews today! Nice job with this Review Day. I've seen that you've been doing quite a bit.



cpedro says...


You're most welcome! :D
Nice job indeed! YWS members are really something else!



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Mon Jan 25, 2016 3:59 pm
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Rin321 wrote a review...



Hey HolographicLadybug! CHRISSY321 back again to review!

*I am halfway through!* :elephant:

Okay! I really liked this chapter. It really eased the scary cat girl and showed that she could be nice! I think that it is great that she turned out to be nice and that they had some stuff in common! Now to find out about the newest girl...

There are a few fixes I saw:

I thought about saying something, but was scared to even move.


Here it made me pause. It may just be me, but isn't it supposed to be:
I thought about saying something, but Iwas scared to even move.

I may be wrong, but I think it is right. It just made me pause and wonder. :)

“It is fine. Stress. Understand. May I help you unpack?”


Here I think it should be "I understand"
I think it would flow better :)

“Suuuuuurrrrre,” I said, dragging out the word as if it were a heavy fish from a slimy lake.


Yay! This is what I was trying to show in last reviews! It is great to stretch out the word in this example! The extra tough of "dragging out the word as if it were a heavy fish from a slimy lake." was just perfect. :D


“You girls are still up?” Cora asked, coming into the cabin. “You should be getting to bed soon.” She gestured to the tall girl beside her. “This is Silvia, your last cabin mate.”


Here I was little confused. Here it sounded like she had already brought in another person before Silvia. I think you could sort of fix it so there is no way to get confused with it:


“This is Silvia, she is your only other bunkmate, so it will just be you three."
Use something like this. i suppose you could keep it as is, but it is really up to you! :)

“Don’t worry,” I said, “I think she does that to everyone.”


I laughed when I read this. It shows that Molly was not the only one who was freaked out by Rowan. This was a very nice touch and a great way to end the chapter :D

Okay, that is all I have to say with this chapter! Halfway through and it is coming out great! Yay! I am off to read and review your other chapters! :D
Chrissy <3






(Stands on top od a rock wearing a cape and looking very threatening) You won't be halfway through if I add another chapter! Mwahahahahaha!!!!!
;)



Rin321 says...


You evil person! Now I am on 8! HA HA!





(Quickly writes five more chapters)



Rin321 says...


Noooooooooooo!




It's easier to come up with new stories than it is to finish the ones you already have. I think every author would feel that way.
— Stephanie Meyer