E - Everyone

Tips for Taking Over Summer Camp Chapter 11: Capture the Flag of Over-Exaggerated Doom

Chapter Eleven: Capture the Flag of Over-Exaggerated Doom

“Alright,” Cora said, her voice rushed and a little panicked. “Positions! What are we going to do?”

“I’ll do defense,” Silvia volunteered. “Christian and Rowan can take the beach front, while Molly, Cora, and Link can take the forested, and Griffin will help guard the back of our territory.”

Cora gave Silvia a quick wide-eyed look of amazement. “Alright, any objections?”

“I do,” Link said, raising his hand slightly, “We have too much offense. I want to held guard. Offense involves too much running.” His voice came out in a sharp whine which irritated my ears.

“Sure, but keep an eye on the forested front and make sure nobody gets past there,” Silvia allowed. “Any more objections? No? Alright. Let’s GOOOOOO!”

With that we all took off to our respective locations.

My legs pumped me towards the large expanse of trees on the other side of camp. Part of me felt bad that Rowan wasn’t on the same front as me. We could trap any intruders to—

I stopped myself mid-thought. Did I actually like Rowan? Was I really not as scared of her as I thought I was? Did I actually consider her my…friend?

“You ok, Molly?” Cora asked, her voice driving through my thoughts.

Reality slammed back into me. “Oh, uh, yeah, I’m fine.”

Cora gave me a nice smile. “Alright. Now let’s show those music brats what theatre kids are made out of!”

I pumped my fist to the air and ran to the treeline. I verged right, not wanting to cross and accidentally get tagged.

Mixed types of trees reached out over my head, but provided no shade. Trunks practically blocked my view of the forest as I sped by them. They were so densely packed that I was afraid to go in—if I wanted to go in—for fear of running into a trunk and getting a concussion.

Suddenly, a girl who was a bit younger than me with thick square glasses and extremely long, braided, night black hair ran up to me. She stayed safely inside the treeline so that she wouldn’t get tagged. Her fern green eyes narrowed at the sight of me.

“Trying to block me, huh?” I asked.

“Yeah.” I could tell that she was trying to sound tough, but her voice was too quiet and wavered a little.

“Well, you’re trapped as well,” I responded.

As soon as I said that, I saw Cora sprinting behind the girl, weaving expertly between the trees, not even making a sound. My eyes followed her for a few extra moments, but I forced my attention back to the girl, afraid that I was going to bust Cora’s cover. I decided that I was going to keep the girl distracted.

“Well, I guess that you wouldn’t mind if I did this.” I feinted to her right. Just like I predicted, she flinched towards that direction. “Or this.” I feinted to the other side, earning the same reaction.

“St-stop that!” she sputtered.

“Why?” My voice was filled with cockiness as I continued to feint. “Am I bothering you?”

“Yes!”

“Well then, my work here is done.”

With that, I tore past her. Her reaction was late: she tried lunging at me, but I was already gone and bounding over rocks and roots. My legs moved like lightning as I ran. My necklace started to swerve side to side, hitting my shoulders as well as my chest. I made sure to keep an eyes out for a scarf, quickly scanning the area.

I was filled with a sense of danger and urgency. I barely knew what I had done back there or why I had done it, but I knew that it was very risky. My mind started to panic a little, but I knew that the music cabin had been given what was probably the largest area.

But then that’s when I came across it: the old shed that was said to border their territory.

It was a somewhat petit structure made of greying wood. It sagged on one side where there was a square-shaped hole in the roof. The single window looked very thin and had been turned pure white by who-knows what. There was a rather large gap in one of its lower corners, revealing a rather dark interior. Overall, the thing looked just plain creepy.

I stopped for a moment, wondering if I could go out of bounds to avoid getting caught. I shook my head. That would get me disqualified.

I veered back, running towards the direction of the beach, hoping to spot the flag along the way.

Suddenly, I heard someone else crashing through the forest. My instincts forced my head around to see a boy I recognized as one of the ones who stared at us in the mess. He was wearing a look of determination as he sprinted towards me.

Uh-oh.

My legs instantly moved faster as I tried to outrun him. I ended up careless and tripped over ferns and rocks and the boy was gaining on me at an incredible rate. I needed a plan. I needed to run faster. I needed to stop running into things.

One of his hands reached out to me, but I managed to get out of reach at the last moment.

“You dirty theatre scum!” he shouted. “Get back here!”

I didn’t comply, trying to run faster and faster. I almost ran into an oak tree, but managed to skillfully swerve out of the way. I could hear the boy having trouble with it too. I nearly laughed when I heard a solid thunk that bought me more a little more time. But then I tripped on a mossy, rectangular rock, landing face-first into the soil. In a flash, I was up on my feet and back to running, but I knew that if I didn’t reach the boundary soon, I would be toast. My legs started to shake, my lungs were telling me that I needed to rest, and the vengeful boy was gaining.

“You must… Give up!” he panted.

He then reached out to me again and made a solid connection with the center of my back which sent me toppling to the ground. I laid on my back next to a wide patch of emerald green moss, panting up a storm. My mouth was creased into a frown knowing that I had failed to make it. Part of me wanted to lash out at him, while the other just wanted to obsess silently all of my problems.

“You’re toast, you mangy theatre chick,” he growled into my ear. “You’re stuck and you’ll never return to your teammates. Not this game.”

“What…ever…” I panted.

“You’ll never escape because I’m going to keep an eye on you for the rest of the game. You’re eliminated.”

So I laid there in defeat, staring up at the slivers of blue sky that I could just make out from between the branches.

Comments & reviews · 2
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User avatar
Brigadier
Review

Hey there HolographicLadybug. It's just lizzy dropping by real quick, so without a further ado, let the reviewing begin.

There are still quite a few of the chapters to your novel in the green room but this one has been there the longest. I can't believe that in two months and two review days you chapter did not get out of the green room. Well you're already halfway and now I'm here for a review. I better stop chit chatting because this is where the real review begins.

I haven't had the chance to read any of the previous chapters but from the looks of the green room I will be reading many of the future chapters. From the title I'm not sure if I should take it literally or if it's just a joke. When I choose titles, I'm never being serious and when I look at other people's titles I'm not sure what their reasons were. One thing I am sure of is that your main character is going to a summer camp. I am also guessing it is an arts oriented because they are referring to the theater group and another. You might have mentioned but I can no longer find that part.

It's not very often that I praise pieces and this is going to be one of the exceptions. I couldn't find anything as far as a category I refer to as grammar/spelling/typos. Usually my review on that segment is extremely long but look there's none this time. Thank you for proofreading. *cheers, faith is restored in people proofreading before publishing*

I did like how quickly the tone and mood of the piece changed. One second the character would be having a very serious thought and the next it was almost humorous. One of things I admire most in writing is when an author can change everything in a second. They go from very dark, deep, and depressing and be able to spring a character back up into a lighter zone. Normally I would make a bad joke but I'm going to spare you from that.

Well that's about all I have for this review. I am going to go do the next chapter.
Have a nice day.
Lizzy: Queen of the Book Clubs

User avatar
Rin321
Review
Rin321 wrote a review · Fri Jan 29, 2016 2:08 am

Hey HolographicLadybug! CHRISSY321 has returned once again! :D

Great chapter! I love the details, the thought, and how well this chapter went! I again saw no corrections to be made-(You are making review your chapters so hard!)

I guess I am left to help by giving you praise on parts of the chapter that you should continue to use:

I could hear the boy having trouble with it too. I nearly laughed when I heard a solid thunk that bought me more a little more time.


I literally laughed here. That is something I would have done! The fact that you add funny elements like this to your story is so great. I love it, and so do other readers. We eat it up!

“You’re toast, you mangy theatre chick,” he growled into my ear. “You’re stuck and you’ll never return to your teammates. Not this game.”


WHOA.WHOA.WHOA! So rude! Why the heck are these other teammates so hostile to each other? That is terrible! Especially a boy being this harsh on a girl! Why is he so mean? Explain your self! (you better have in the next few chapters!)

He then reached out to me again and made a solid connection with the center of my back which sent me toppling to the ground.


I also loved this part because during the whole chase, it was like almost being in a war! The fact she goes down so hard when he tag her is kind of funny. It makes her think 'Help, I've been tagged! I need back up!" Funny stuff :)

Overall this was a great chapter! Excited to read more! :D
Chrissy <3

Yay! My humor is working! (Throws a dance party to which only three people come to)
You'll probably get the answer to all of the hostility soon.... Just not now. ;)
Thanks for the review!



Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I've ever known.
— Chuck Palahniuk