Author's Note: In the wake of the recent police killings...
Hunters on Patrol!
Look out! Look out!
HUNTERS on patrol--
Comin' quick with guns in holsters,
Packing badges on their fronts,
And not their backs--no lashes bleed upon their souls.
Look out! Look out!
HUNTERS on patrol--
Make sure you're ready to speak
With lifeless civility,
And d a n c e with lifeless
DEMONS...
That fiend for R e d and B l u e
From the veins of the young and old--
And the b l a c k and bold.
Look out! Look out!
HUNTERS on patrol--
Run into the jungle--don't face the HUNTERS.
Turn your white face, brown face, b l a c k face away...
Blackface Bill says,
"Don't be offended by questions--"
"Don't be offended by glances--"
"Don't be offended by assumptions--"
How now, General Lee?
How now, Jim?
How, in this day and age does an e l e p h a n t fly?
Look out! Look out!
HUNTERS, RACISTS, KLANSMEN, DEVILS on PARADE--
No pink e l e p h a n t s!
Screaming brothers and sisters, screaming mothers and fathers.
Morning after. s t r a n g e
Morning after. f r u i t
Morning after. r i p e n s
Run! Run! Run!
But never turn your back
To the HUNTERS on patrol!
B o d i e s
In bags
Swing from
Branches
Without
Ropes and
Trees.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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141,251 Literary Works • 674,330 Reviews
I think to make this better, you could put dashes between the letters that you are spelling words with. Also, the sentences that say "Morning after." are a little strange with the periods where they are, then a lowercase word being spelled after that. If you are going to keep the periods where they are, then you should capitalize the first letter of the spelled word. Otherwise, maybe you could put a hyphen between "after" and the spelled word.
Unique job on this work, which features an obviously touchy subject. It makes you think about cruelties and the darkness of this subject.
Wow. This is great. You somehow managed to stuff so much symbolism and meaning into this poem. I loved all the references, from General Lee to Jim to the repeated e l e p h a n t to, well everything. The fact that you didn't just use all boring lowercase letters also came out well: you changed to all caps, added plenty of punctuation, and put spaces in between the letters.
Because this is a review, I have to give you some criticism. If all I did was praise you, this would be a bad review.
I found this task hard. The only thing I could find that you might want to work on is your switching of ideas. If you didn't capitalize the beginning of each line, it would be easier to distinguish where one thought ends and another begins.
Also, here:
"Make sure you're ready to speak
With lifeless civility,
And d a n c e with lifeless
DEMONS..."
I think it seems a bit clumsy to use "lifeless" twice here. You might have been going for the repetition, but if so, you might want to change it to:
"Make sure you're ready to speak
With lifeless civility,
And d a n c e
With lifeless DEMONS..."
because then the repetition stays in pattern.
Then again, maybe you don't want that, if there's some symbolism that I missed. It's all up to you. Again, great piece.