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Young Writers Society



Super Flower Blood Moon

by Glauke


now the earth spins on the axis of one blue afternoon,
lunar orbit once held sacred by saffron monks
shifts red and blue with the changing tides.

but what tides shift the human heart, tiny ocean of blood and lust?
      what waves carry this music between us?

somewhere over the darkened sea, the moon casts its red glow unseen. the ocean
in my heart glows red too, lilting like the wine i drink tonight.
in the ecstasy of heat and sex, moon and blood, sea and blood,
i search for the strings that bind my skin to yours
and find these tears inside of me, silent and pulsing
with the beating of my heart. (i think
i may be falling in love)

let me fall into the arms of the sea
with its strange new beauty, its tide pools and secrets.
i’ll slip into the shadows that sway between us,
my heart covered and blind. my body is naked, my mind
shimmers like fresh blood.

we will dance this summer’s dances for each other
as moonlight plays across our flesh.
all the old rules will break down:
in the heart of the eclipse we’ll understand each other,
as the water splashes and pulses and pounds
the earth into this swirling moon, blooming blood-lily. the tides cannot hold us
in this rhythm nor crash us against the shore.

(i think i may be falling in love)


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386 Reviews


Points: 27684
Reviews: 386

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Wed Jun 02, 2021 11:31 am
Dossereana wrote a review...



Hi Dossereana here with a short review for you. So lets get right into it shell we.

I really liked the name for this poem, that was the first thing that really curt my eye in the green room. then I pressed on the poem and started reading, it started in such a magical way, I just loved it.

somewhere over the darkened sea, the moon casts its red glow unseen. the ocean
in my heart glows red too, lilting like the wine i drink tonight.


The description is excellent, I really liked these two lines most for some reason. It just took me in further. I was so happy to come across this I love reading things that describe the planet.

As I said this is a really short review I loved reading this, you did very well to impress me with it. The universe is an amazing thing for sure. I hope to read more from you.

I hope you have a great day/night witch ever side of the world your on.

@Dossereana Flying Over The Green Room And Spreading Shards Of Encouragement




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11 Reviews


Points: 276
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Thu May 27, 2021 10:39 pm
TheRealEuphoria wrote a review...



Hello, Euph here to review this for you! :)

I'm going to start off with my suggestions, and then I'll get right to the good parts!

I noticed that everything was decapitalized which is fine, I just feel if you used capital letters when using "i" it would flow a little bit smoother.

The format in lines like this:

somewhere over the darkened sea, the moon casts its red glow unseen. the ocean
in my heart glows red too, lilting like the wine i drink tonight.


and:

the earth into this swirling moon, blooming blood-lily. the tides cannot hold us
in this rhythm nor crash us against the shore.


I feel like instead of placing
the ocean
in my heart glows
at the end of the line could be moved to start a whole new line. It would make the flow a lot more even. Same thing with
the tides cannot hold us
.

Now, to the good stuff! :3

I'm absolutely in love with your use of imagery, I can really appreciate writers that can take their gifts and turn it into a lovely peice of work like this. I'm forsure a sucker for love songs, poems, and spoken word.

It's clear that the poem is personifiying love and how it feels, as I was reading I could almost picture the scene and who was speaking.

Keep up the good work!

~ Euph




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48 Reviews


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Reviews: 48

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