Heavy amniotic fluid
moves gently through
opalescent darkness.
With a twitch of light, the confining cocoon breaks
and a mesh of neural wires erupts. The womb has burst.
Consciousness breaks free and expands
into infinity.
Eyes slowly open to
warm sunlight, pouring in.
A biosphere blooms, tapping into the cosmos.
A sea of concentric interwoven circles
stretches out to the rim of the atmosphere.
Patterns of golden prisms swirl, warm
like honeyed shadow.
You will learn to accept this deep, spacious love.
Overhead, light floods the body
where your flesh had its boundaries.
As the sky settles, you look up, feel
melted, bright and clear. Fall back into the ocean,
become it.
Like the newborn’s first breaths, warmth gathers as you
breathe in the emotion of unity. You join,
living in each other's thoughts.
It is time to move forward.
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139,613 Literary Works • 672,625 Reviews
The visuals in this work are brilliant as I've come to expect from the author. The subject matter as well is one that hasn't been worked to death which makes it all the more interesting. Unfortunately, I feel that unless you have some understanding of post-humanism this work won't make much sense which is a shame because this, quite elegantly, explains the argument for a post-humanist society. Excellent work, keep on keeping on!
I love the blossoming language. It feels like the words weirdly feel warm and comforting matching the scene of the child being born.
Hi Glauke, I am Buranko, haven't read/reviewed any of your works before so seeing this in the green room I decided to give it a go. At first sight it is a difficult poem to comprehend but if you do read it until the end you will soon realise it is a quite artistical/philosophical poem, whose interpretation might be different among two or more readers. Lovely work!
I want to start by praising your metaphors and imagery overall. The theme of mystery and poetical expression is really enhanced by your words. Correct me if I am wrong but you seem one of those poets that have a lot of fun writing a poem not to be understood as a whole but working on each detail, each element individually using a rich vocabulary, putting together certain images that work really well together but unique to you. I hope you understand what I mean. "opalescent darkness" is one such example where you use two different terms that work really well in the theme of birth and darkness and chaos before the beginning.
You continue by describing the act of birth itself in a way that is somewhat in the theme of vagueness from before, but in a way that shouts "I am beautiful".
I would love to present all my interpretation of your themes and motifs but I am here to review not to discuss the poem. What is not that pleasant in your poem is on the structural level. Your lines are a mess, really hard to feel a constant flow, a harmonious one. It may be because of the theme of it but I believe you can do it in a nicer way. The poem kind of breaks after the line "like honeyed shadow" because you try to adress the reader and fail. You did it too direct, violent in a way. If you have the time try to rework these lines, they would make this poem so much better. I mean the line "You must learn to accept this deep, spacious love" is unnecessarily long and bland when compared to the poem before it.
Gorgeous work nevertheless, I love a philosophical, metaphysical poem and I would love to read any other poems you will write!