Tears dissolve selenite like sugar in my palms,
sweet sludge becomes shard-sharp with glinted grief.
What does wasted time look like?
A
blank wall, moments dripping into the drain. Pacing circles, dead
batteries. Cells dividing
for no reason at all. Darkness, fragments of
silence, and the blind moon moving through them.
I peel back my
eyelids and colors come rushing out; they aren’t there when I try to
remember
them. I try to collect them in jars, bury them in drawers,
inhale them and exhale the early
evening sky.
I wish I was a child so I wouldn’t have to comfort myself.
Where
I was once a girl and then a woman, someone new and bright, I stand in
between.
Everything is suspended: no light to bring it up, no dark to
hold it down.
If these dripping moments could crystallize into a matrix, I’d at least have something solid
to show for all this passing time,
the way the earth has spent millennia making minerals.
As it is, I render time-stones in my head and count the minutes.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
This poem. Is absolutely STUNNING.
Hi, Wayward here for a quick review!!
Often when reviewing, I select a few phrases or quotes that stand out to me. However, I cannot do that with this because I would have to do this with every single phrase. They're all so lovely and unique that I wouldn't be able to choose.
The swirling and whimsical mood you've created through this poem is fantastic, and it makes my head spin just thinking about it. The fantasy in every word you've typed, the way you've personified and created new uses for things I haven't often seen written about is incredible. This poem is very unique and beautiful.
I will select one quote. "I wish I was a child so I wouldn’t have to comfort myself." This line creates an entirely new mood to the poem, creates a tone of wistfulness and humanity that really puts the rest of it in perspective. It's so beautiful and somehow perfectly communicates the emotion you're trying to convey.
Overall, I have no critiques. It's absolutely beautiful. Thank you for writing this!
Thank you so much <3
I absolutely love this! Your visual imagery is superb! You seem to have a fascination with geology which leads to incredibly interesting visuals. This poem reflects the emotion of wasting time but not wanting to all too well; it really connects with me in that way at least. In the future, I would try to keep the poem tied to the central theme; specifically the stanza about colours. It feels a bit out of place as it doesn't seem to tie in with wasting time. Other than that, this is a fantastic poem! I will definitely keep an eye out for your work in the future!
This is so beautiful!
Hey, Z here with a review!
I really love how the poem is slightly uneven, like at times the punctuation is there, others it's not, some lines are capitalized, others are, again, not.
I really love the use of metaphors and similes, and I think it's really pretty. I really love your writing style! I'm going to your profile to read more works right after this :p
Yea, the point being I really love the poem, you did great, keep at it.
- Z
Thank you!