Setting out

This is beautiful! The last stanza is so true, it seems that when I fall in love that I am least conscious of it, of myself.

Hello there Glauke and happy review day!

This is Kostia, here for a quick review on your poem!

I will start with my opinion on your poem. I really liked, I thought it was a good read. It had a positive atmosphere and a really nice feeling in it overall. It does seem like a good memory!

Here is my review:

General comments:

Structure: You chose to write this in free verse which is fine by me. I like free verse poetry! Your stanzas are nicely seperated according to the themes that arise from the poem.

Phrasing and vocabulary: I really enjoyed your choice of colorful words. The phrasing is very delicate, beautiful and emotionally charged in a cheerful manner. Well done!

Grammar and spelling: Nothing to note here everything seemed great.

Disclaimer: I am not a native speaker so I might have missed minor mistakes.

Analysis:

First stanza:

“Setting out,
we push our boat into the river.”
I really like you beggin with a two verse stanza. It is shorter than the rest and it really sets out the atmosphere. It is bearly discriptive but it set's the whole picture very nicely, engaging the reader's interest. Thumbs up!
Second and third stanzas:
“The sun is warm on our shoulders,
bright in our eyes,
rhythmic on the moving water.
We sit in the belly of the boat,
glowing with heat and laughter,
throwing orange peels into the river.”
Those two stanzas were very discriptive. Your use of imagery is great and you have used exceptionaly fitting words. It shows a beautiful scenery and makes the reader feel everything. Your description has the glow of a fairytale and the calm emotions of a good dream! I m guessing that is what you went for, and you were really successfull. You also managed to describe your experience of space pretty vividly. Good work!
Fourth stanza:
“Holding your gaze,
I am met with perfect blue clarity
and the currents in my body flow with yours.”
So I think this is the stanza I liked the least. Noth that there is anything wrong with it but compared to the rest of your poem it just seems weaker. Maybe because its purpose is to connect the ending with the rest of the poem. This brings me to:
The ending:
“How rare it is, and how precious,
to have found a new beginning,
and to hardly be aware.”
This really stood out, it has a strong impact on the reader and is very conclusive. I like endings with deep meanings. Very well written! I really felt the beauty of this as I read!
Overall I think that is a great poem. It doesn't lack anything in my opinion. Even if it is a bit short, it is smooth and honnest with a clear meaning and wonderful imagery.

Keep up the good work!

Best regards

Kostia

Hiya, been a long time since I've gotten the hang of things here again, so why not slowly reintroduce myself with some poetry? By any means, I'm not a snob so you won't get any harsh criticism from me. However, I can appreciate a good poetic piece now and then. The immediate feeling I get from this is the emotion I felt whenever it had to do with fishing. Or rather anything related to the sorts (such as water), but this does encapsulate the feelings of the sun, the rhythm of the water, so on and so forth.

It's so small, yet so sweet and to the point that I wish there was just more to the vernacular of the poem; more hard-hitting words full of emotion. Looking at it as a calm, easy going piece is just as exceptional for me. There's no need, in my opinion, to inject larger words, but a few here and there wouldn't hurt it and may lend a refined taste.

Hello, Cyr here, I'm here to review this piece of yours. First things first, this was great! The emotion, while still fairly well portrayed, could have been improved by some stronger language (no, not swear words, you know what I mean) and maybe some uses of literary tricks like alliteration or keeping a stronger grip on your syllable counts. I couldn't see any glaring grammar or punctuation issues, but then again, I never really notice those, so you may want to take literally anyone else's word on it. My baby uncle (he's adopted and I call him Squishy) knows more about grammar than I do, so, as I said, I am no authority.

All of that said, it really was a good piece. I'm not a huge fan of poetry as a whole (says the person with many poems of my own posted and unposted on this site) so you can take my criticisms with a grain of salt.

Great job, and happy writing!