She used to wear a cracked-open geode
on a chain around her neck,
and when she was nervous she’d
work her finger into its opening.
I loved that little cavern,
iridescent and pulsating, and wanted so much
to be drawn inside.
I could almost feel
the flicker of the jagged guts
shining as she drew her soft
fingertip across each fractal surface.
To enter her tiny personal cave
brought her comfort, she said,
the way a kitten feels comfort when hoisted into
the small cave of her mother’s mouth.
I wanted her to enter the cave in me,
to cry stalagmites and laugh stalactites and
knock down a wall here and there
so we could venture further in
until the whole thing rumbled
like a stomach and cracked at the seams
and crumbled over us, laughing naked in the daylight
at how silly we were to think a cave
is any kind of home.
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Cool poem.I wonder if this is a toxic relationship that won’t end well.The reference of:”..until the whole thing rumbled like a stomach and cracked at the seams and crumbled over us,laughing naked in the daylight at how silly we were to think a cave is any kind of home.” Made me think something horrible would happen to them.Great job on the poem and I hope you have a lovely day/night.
Hello
This poem gave me a soft feeling if that makes any sense and the twist at the end hit me in the gut (a good thing, it was very effective). There are so many great visuals "the flicker of the jagged guts" "the way a kitten feels comfort when hoisted into / the small cave of her mother's mouth".
There's a really subtle tension in the words you chose that makes me feel unsure about the relationship between these people. It starts off longing and warm and then transitions perfectly into abrupt melancholy but it works so well at telling the story of these people.
I love the feelings of vulnerability you get with the lines "I wanted her to enter the cave in me, / to cry stalagmites and laugh stalactites and / knock down a wall here and there / so we could venture further in" That's a perfect way to describe how it feels to let someone in. The fear of going too deep with anybody no matter the relation is definitely the same as venturing in a cavern - full of unknowns and yes they can cave in much like the heart. Excellent comparison this whole poem is beautiful all the way through.
Thank you so much for the review! <3
Hello! First of all, I think that's a perfectly good title. But if you find something you like more, then that's even better.
This is a rather abstract poem in some ways, which leaves it somewhat up for interpretation of what exactly it's about, but that's good. Poetry is like that. I love the story and emotion attached to this geode necklace, how its personal significance is described beautifully.
I really love this comparison here, and this part alone really tells us a lot about how important this geode really is to her. It sounds like the peaceful, loving kind of comfort, and how it can make her feel safer.
The ending here is slightly surprising, as it turns from this story of comfort to becoming sad, and maybe even a little mournful. The twist just makes the last part even more powerful, and adds a mysterious element to the poem as well, since it's unsure what happened. There's a bit of a realization that this geode, this treasure with such a high emotional value, might not be enough to shelter you from the tragedies of the world.
This poem was incredibly deep, and I'm glad I got to read it. I hope you have a nice day!
- Shadow
Thank you Shadow! I appreciate the feedback, glad you enjoyed <3
cute i like this!
Thank you very much!