Suddenly time is thick like molasses around my body,
and I am aware of how it holds me in place.
I can reach my hand out,
but my fingers will brush the skin
of a stranger.
I enter a reality that feels wrong,
ill-fitting like a dream that isn’t mine.
Submerging myself in the sea of memory,
where my heart and I are weightless;
I’m cocooned by the dull ache of nostalgia.
I never thought “I love you” would hurt.
A beautiful thing, now dead,
lies heavy in my mind.
Its warmth is gone,
but the body remains.
I fear that this burden is too much to cast off
without a part of me going with it.
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
Really good job on the poem, It kind of sounds like this poem was about love that has ended.
It sounds like the person really misses them too, and a life without them is like a dream, and all wrong. "I enter a reality that feels wrong,
ill-fitting like a dream that isn’t mine."
Then it's like she can't stop thinking about the other person, and they keep looking back at memories of when they were together. It also sounds like the person is still in love, even though their relationship is over. "Submerging myself in the sea of memory,
where my heart and I are weightless;
I’m cocooned by the dull ache of nostalgia.
I never thought “I love you” would hurt."
Then it sounds like the person is still in love, even though their relationship is over and regrets that it ended. "A beautiful thing, now dead,
lies heavy in my mind.
Its warmth is gone,
but the body remains."
Then in the very end, it sounds like the burden of their relationship ending is to much, and the person can't take it anymore. "I fear that this burden is too much to cast off
without a part of me going with it."
To me it sounds like this whole poem is about love that was lost, and the person regrets that it ended. Your poem was very good, it has a lot of emotion and description in it which is great.
Overall: Really good job, keep up the good work. Can't wait to read what you write next.
Carpe diem,
LUNARGIRL
Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel that this poem is about a love that has ended. And in a painful ending at that. The speaks seems to be longing for the person he or she broke up with. But now, they are mere "strangers," no longer lovers. And the speaker still has a hard time accepting this.
This is off topic, but have you listened to Kenshi Yonezu's "Lemon" before? The subject matter and the feeling of the song is quite similar to this poem.
Personally, I hope the speaker will be able to find new love while accepting this past love as personal history and letting it go.
I enjoyed reading this poem very much.^^
Sorry about the blank message I posted.
Anyway, I love the way you picture the concepts here. It gives an aura of mystery, but not so much that it doesn't make sense.
My favorite part is definitely the part about the dead body that remains in your mind. It makes so much sense and I feel like it resonates with a lot of people.
The two ending lines are also awesome. It reflects a fear that anyone who has had a brutal murder of their love and feelings has experienced.
Keep developing your writing talent!