Metaphors

This is incredible! I have recently read "1984" so this is clicking with many similar themes as I read. You describe such a mysterious, horrifying version of reality, and I love the way you do so.
"If metaphor makers were threatened
to choose between thoughts or death,
they would have to subdue into me
the never reversible sentence."
This stanza has the most impact in my mind and I enjoyed it the most. I am gathering that the persona is being made to forfeit either free-thought or life and the "never reversible sentence" is he/she asking for death. Makes me shudder (In a good way!).
This was exquisite, just the sort of poetry I like. But the one thing I couldn't understand was why the first stanza was one line lighter than the others. I couldn't pick out an obvious reason for this though you may have one.
Anyway, this is fantastic and I hope this review/comment has got across how much I like it.
Pollarbear

Word placement and the way you have expressed your ideas is perfect, and the poem flows really well! There is really nothing for me to criticise here, as this poem is absolutely brilliant! Yes, brilliant has been used several times in other reviews, but seriously, that's how good the poem is! Keep up the good work, and I hope to read more of your works! ..Which I will, when I have time!

Brilliant poem and words well said and thought of.
" if the art of comparing ideas
Was like black inked rains,
I'd be the rebel
Or the villain that floats on forlorness"

This stanza in particular is one of my favorites..beautifully written out and said.
Love this piece of work to bits, gorgeous work filled with lots of acknowledged efforts keep up the good work xoxo

Wow! What a brilliant poem, so simply structured and written but in such clear and precise description you can forgive this of just about anything.

It is hard to think of anything that comes to mind that you can improve on. Perhaps if you simplify some words and not concentrate so much on the description, and rather the story, that may help, but then again it's the description that makes it what it is, so it would be wise to keep a balance for next time, and not sacrifice one for the other, but this is merely me finding the most minor errors to pick at, as it is a very well accomplished poem that deserves recogintion for its such simplistic but effective structure.

The terms "the never reversable sentence", "like black inked rains", "the villian that floats on forlorness", and "the disguised poets' minds" really struck out at me. Perhaps it was because this implies a sense of tragedy and regret that have been created by the character himself, or herself. Even though this is so, It doesn't become a gritty novella that needs to get its' point across with the grimmest of circumstances, instead depending on the wide mosiac of adjectives avaliable. This is a great trump card as it shows a certain originality.

On the whole then, a great poem with very little to criticise on, perhaps it could've been a bit longer but again that's me picking at straws there.

Well done and hope to read more work by you!

First of all, more power to writers!
A person who gives up their talent undefensively is one unworthy of such a talent. Writing is such an art, such a beauty and a writing is such an epitome of passion that I'm sure it would undoubtedly be a sin not to write.

Saying that, while I haven't seen all your works, those which I have seen I have loved and regard you as a ery talented weaver of words.

One of the very first poems I read on YWS spoke of the struggle a writer encounters when they fail to write that which demands to be written, to be documented for all to see. This right here speaks to innovation of not just the art of writing but the art being used to show appreciation and passion for the art- follow?

I absolutely loved the second stanza, especially as it shows the perfect example of your creativity and ingenuity. In using death as the irreversible sentence, is simple genius that might blow over heads but I just had to stop point it out.

My favorite though was the final stanza as it resounded a passionate rebellion against anything that opposes or seeks to suppress the art for which the narrator is so passionate.

LOVED IT. SUPPORT IT. APPRECIATE IT.
GREAT JOB. And never stop writing!!

keep writing gee!make it your passion!

Hey. Let me start by saying, I loved this.
Secondly, my favorite part of it is
"If the art of comparing ideas
was like black inked rains,
I'd be the rebel,
or the villian that floats on forlornness."
It's really vivid and paints a picture in my head, if you know what I mean
I've seen a lot of your work, and I really, really love all of it.
NEVER STOP WRITING <3
~Lindsey.

hi, i really liked your poem,
to me it shows a person defending what they think to be true or real from people who might penalize one for daring to do it. I guess a lot of people on here can resonate with your poem to some extent.
Nice Work!!