Hi, guys! It's been a while since I last posted, but I got inspired earlier... hope you like this poem. :) Please, tell me what you think, and thanks for reading.
Green was his color;
olive and brown,
God Himself knew it
when he gave him those eyes.
He put on his brown boots,
and in his green uniform,
he looked into her eyes;
the man she married was gone.
Battles of greed were recorded in his mind.
The fear he ever felt was hiding deep inside.
They trained his heart, and turned it to stone;
for his own good, I suppose.
She, too, was a warrior;
holding that same flag,
but fighting for something different
with a cattail in her bag.
Once they saw each other again,
when he came back home from war,
the air sang it in silence...
"Can Difference turn people apart?"
There was nothing they could share now,
if they didn't want to fight.
And she realized that even wanting peace
can create a war.
And that's where the story ends,
in a little strike;
where no one is wrong and no one is right.
A story where love, like a pebble in the river, drowns.
P.S. If you're wondering why I used the word cattail: "The flower symbolism associated with cattail is peace and prosperity."
I really liked this. I think its a nice concept to roll with for a poem.
Great job IMO.
I don't much like reading poetry but i read this to the end.
Thanks, Butterfly!
Buenas! Me gustó mucho y me identifico con este texto. War tears us all apart. Our families, our ideals, and even our very nation. Lo mas que me gusta es que no es muy lejos de la realidad. Muchos soldados se van a la guerra y, aunque vuelven físicamente, siempre hay algo de ellos que se queda allá.
Éxito, y sigue escribiendo!
Mil gracias, mi amigo!!!!!
Hey,
I really liked this. I like the symbolism though i wouldnt have picked up on it without your note (due to my lack of floral knowledge). Nice flow. Good, original idea.
Great work.
Pollarbear
P.S sorry its such a short review/ comment.
Thank you so much, PollarBear<3333
Heya!
This was nice, had a great flow to it. I don't have much to say; I really liked "And she realized that even wanting peace / can create a war.", which is so true. My only critique would be to change, in the last line, the 'pebbles' into 'a pebble', so that it sounds better with 'drowns', because 'pebbles' is plural while 'drowns' is singular.
Nice, linear poem you've got here. Keep it up!
|Life|
Will do! Thank for the help!
Great one ! , I mean they way you connect things together & put your own vision of communicate between them .
War in my own point of view is just another human desire or human greedy i should say !
" where no one is wrong and no one is right "
shall i call this the gray area , the zone that every one of us reach it in some how , who lose & who win ??
no one knows actually . Cause i think its not the matter of winning or losing as much as its matter of having self peace .
I liked your poem .
Best Regrades .
P.S. Forgive any mistakes in my English , cause I am not a native one but i try .
Thanks, Nun<3