I absolutely love this poem. Very true.
So, I'm currently confused by the punctuation, especially the parentheses. Why are they not closed, and is it purposeful? If it is intended to be a part of the poem, and I'm just being dense, that's perfectly fine. I'm also confused by the ellipses here:
It's an airplane with flawed slats,
...ephermeral are the halts in our heights...
The two different punctuations side by side are confusing to read both mentally and "aloud." It doesn't seem purposeful, the juxtaposition of the two. The ellipses by themselves without the comma before it would be fine, but not with the comma, if that makes any sense.
Overall, just a short, sweet, well-written poem. Keep writing!
Points: 4842
Reviews: 120
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