I made a rainbow with the garden hose

NOTE: Because the news are depressing these days; because I've heard too much Tom Lehrer and read too much Dr. Seuss; because I associated them with Pippi Longstocking and Little Lulu; because I like hope in a helpless world (and I actually made a rainbow with the hose, lol) and because Gandhi said: "Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it."

~

I forced a rainbow, with sanguine glum,

holding the garden's yellow hose;

I forced a rainbow -to find me hope-

before the coquelicot sun.

~

I forced my wish upon a flower

and blew its thin petals away;

Ostensibly, the dandelion

had bloomed in draught to stay.

~

I forced that Gavotte by Gossec

into one very sad Bourrée.

And silence I did hear the day,

I played the bass using G-clef.

~

I forced some love onto some hate

And melted joy over a plate.

I gave it to some angry friends;

some claimed it wasn't worth the pain.

~

Comments & reviews · 3
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GeeLyria,

This piece has me relating to every word you said!!!! To start off, I love the first and last stanzas the best. I think this is because I can fully relate and have gone through some things like this. Though this may be different to you, I have had some ended friendships in the last few months after I moved, and I guess I found out where my true friendships lied, but I gave them the truth after feeding them lies of pretending to agree with them and they got angry that I wasn't like them. I think I'm kind of rambling though, so...... XD


I also liked your first stanza, but I cant fully grasp why......I guess it just hooked me in, like all poems should!!!!!! Keep up the good work!

With Love,
SpencerReidIsMyLife

User avatar
brokenbeastxx Review

I thought this was very creative! I like how you took something maybe a child would do

"I forced my wish upon a flower and blew it's thin petals away"

And put so much maturity in it as if going back to your childhood. I did enjoy reading all of it! I liked the side not too. I hope you post much more like this!

User avatar
TwizzlerSaga Comment

I have so many feeling going on while reading this! It's like they are fighting against each other. I like your writing style and I easily relate to what you're saying. All in all I think this was well written.

I especially like the last part

"I forced some love onto hate
And melted joy over a plate
I gave it to some angry friends;
Some claimed it wasn't worth the pain"

A good end to the poem it sets the mood perfectly. The thought of making the harsh world beautiful is so thought provoking. You managed to make it seem so spectacular but so simple at the same time.

Art is something that's supposed to bring forward emotion and sometimes we can't control those emotions that come forth in people when they read. So I can never be sure if my emotions are what you are going for but that is what you got. I wanna follow you after this. This is the first thing i read on this site and I'm so not disappointed.

Sorry if my review is bland or something like that... it's my first one~~

I surely appreciate it, Twizz! Welcome to YWS, and thank you. :)



To have more, you have to become more. Don't wish it was easier - wish you were better. For things to change, you have to change, and for things to get better, you have to get better.
— Jim Rohn