I think this is the longest poem I've ever written. The idea had been in my mind for a while, but I never wrote it down until now. xD Enjoy it! <33333
She taught me to draw my name when I was three years old.
The first thing I ever wrote was the word I am called.
So I made sure to practice it all over the place;
The walls, tables, floor and doors-
with the crayons she'd always organized in a little box.
Then I grew up a few inches,
and she took me to school.
The teacher said the list of names outloud,
but mine was never mentioned twice.
Later in fifth grade,
my nicknames multiplied.
Why can't you pick your own name? I thought.
That's a very important thing in life.
I wanted to change my name,
And I wanted to cross it out.
"It's strange and rare." They laughed.
It was now blemished with their derides.
I got home frowning and crossing my arms.
"What was she thinking?" I wondered outloud.
She poured me a glass of lemonade and looked down at me,
answering my question evanescently,
"The sun is just one and it shines all the time,
the truth is that you can't hide it behind the clouds.
I wouldn't have called you something that was already made up,
I called you something that would never get lost."
It took all my childhood for me to understand;
the special thing about my name isn't the letters it has.
It's what Mama said that evening; why she chose it for me.
Like sweet lemons, it's a piece of her I'll always keep.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,736 Reviews
WOW.
Thank you, people! <33333333333333333333333
Gee, you forgot to tell me about this poem. It is absolutely astonishing.
I can't believe it took me almost two months to read this. I literally stumbled on it by accident. I noticed it had been made by you, so I took a peak inside. I have to agree with all these comments. This is amazing. It is easily one of the best poems I have ever read.
Ever.
I've read plenty of good poems in my time, and this is easily in my top 10 of all time. All the words are lovely. The structure is bliss. I especially loved the parts in italic for empathisis. It felt liek you were talking to me in conversation, so it gave it a much more personal edge. It had very nice vocabulary as well. Simple, but complex. Unapologetic, yet layered in regret. It is a contradiction, a changing-my-mind-every-minute type of poem.
"It's strange and rare" they laughed. It doesn't get truer than that do describe this poem. Well done. A blinder.
Hi GeeLyria!
First of all, VERY CUTE AVVIE! <3
Hehe
Your poem, so-called "I Wanted To Change My Name." , is the most amazing poem I have EVER read! ^.^ No kidding.
I know, I am a little late to see this, but your title was really catchy. :O
And this poem shows two things and I'm really proud that it's conveyed really beautifully. :') They are:
1) Love of your mother
2) Importance of your name. They're not just letters. They have a meaning.
I'm going to tell all of my friends to read this poem. I just loved it like anything in the world. Apart from God, Parents and Siblings (Including Friends). I think your poem is the best! xD
Though this stanza, I was confused. A little.
"It's strange and rare." They laughed.
This line, I first thought, they teased you because it was rare or were you happy about it?
Just asking. But don't change anything, please. It's just TOO good. <33333
Overall: Outstanding. ;D
Cheers,
Cookie. <3
P.S.: I think some parts of your poem are Present Tense & some are Past Tense.
The teacher said the list of names outloud,but mine was never mentioned twice.
Here I felt a sudden lack of rhyming. But then after reading the next portion, it worked out well.
I loved the rhyming and the meaning. After the above statement, I got so carried away with the words, I couldn't give a helpful review.
Now I know why it was featured for so long once upon a time, I didn't read it then though.
Great poem! I really understand how the character feels. People say that my name is weird and strage too. I would always ask my mom- "why didn't you name me something normal" and she told that the meaning behind my name was the reason why. After that, I realized i didn't want to change my name anymore. Anyway, Amazing Poem!
I really like this poem because when a child is christened such a unique name, they may think that it defines them because of the harsh nicknames they have had to endure. But as they mature they learn of the significance of their name, they begin to realize that it is not the name that defines them, but they define their own name. Great poem!!
Hai there!
I really liked your poem. It was very well written and I loved loved loved the idea. It flowed very well and it kept my attention throught the whole thing. I don't really have anything bad to point out. Great job and keep writing!
Wow! This poem is really cool. It reminds me of a friend I have who has a really unsual name
. it's a really interesting thing to get your teeth into and overall a very good piece of work. It flowed really well and I especially loved the beginning. Well done!
Keep Writing,
~Leopard
Daww!
I bet your name is beautiful.
(Is it 'Sol', by any chance?)
I actually quite like my name. It's Irish - and there was some Irish warrior queen who had it.
I'm lucky to have a name that's not common (well, it's not UNcommon in Ireland) and not completely unheard of. But I think unique names just show how special you are.
This is incredible and really emphasises the fact that you don't choose a name, it chooses you. I bet you're a really special kid to go with that really special name XD
I really liked this poem! I don't know if you've read the novel The Namesake but your poem really connects with it!
I love this! That was what my parents told me about my other name. This one is somewhat funny, somewhat light-hearted, yet so warm.
"The sun is just one and it shines all the time, the truth is that you can't hide it behind the clouds.I wouldn't have called you something that was already made up,I called you something that would never get lost."
I love this segment especially.
By the way, did all of those really took place?
I can totally relate to this poem. Funny thing. When I was fifth grade, I changed my nickname from Aboo to Jash. XD Well, I didn't really wanna change my real name, just my nickname. LOL I like this. But I've got a few nitpicks:
I read the line three times before I understood it - I think. What you were trying to say was because you knew your name so well the teacher didn't have to repeat calling your name? Is that it? Was how I understood it correct? Well, then if so, I suggest that you use the conjunction and instead of but. Honestly, there was nothing there to contrast from the previous line. You just had to state it.
So many things happen in fifth grade.
We need consistency here, dear. Are you gonna capitalize every new line? - despite the punctuation in the previous line to it? 'Cause I've noticed that at some parts, you didn't capitalize a letter when it's connected to the previous line.
This is such a pretty poem, Sol! (I'm still calling you, Sol. Please? =P) I really liked it and enjoyed reading it. =) KEEP ON WRITING! Hope I've helped a bit. =)
~ Jash
This poem has such a good feel to it. I love the way it's casually written. That's something I think many people wonder about, fight with, and come to accept... their name. Certain individuals do end up naming themselves one way or another, but it is such a deep topic.
I certainly could review this poem and complain about this and that but I honestly think it's good the way it is. Light-hearted, casual, and honest. I liked your use of lemons and lemonade. Gotta wonder what the name is though...
I like it so much. I am half asleep, so no real review, sorry. But, I had to say something. I liked it very much!!
I love this xD!
I love this poem
It's so whimsical and humorous.
I like it! The poem was so touching! I won't criticize your work anymore since I find it really good! Thumbs up! Keep writing
Its funny, during the massive review day we had, I kept talking about word choice and placement, and how it plays such a vital part in poetry, at least I think it does. Then, I saw the title of your poem, became intrigued, and by the second line I knew you understood what I had spent the entire day discussing.
I love how you used the word draw rather than write.The way you state certain lines, like
Same thing here, you say word instead of name.
I just love this line!
I guess you can’t call this a review because I have nothing to correct, it’s more of one writer giving praise to another. I love how personal it was, how you never actually said what your name was point blank, and if I were you, I wouldn’t change a thing.
Great job!
Keep writing
~SnowBerry
I love this! It flows really nicely, and it is the perfect length.
I'm not really a poet or anything so I don't have a review, but this is really good 
I love unique names 
but you don't have to answer if you don't want to 
I have to ask, because I'm so curious, what is your name? I think everyone has asked the same question. If this poem is a true story, then I would say your name has to be pretty amazing
Anyway, this was great! Keep writing, I have to read more of your stuff
You have no idea how much this poem means to me... I love the concept and everything. It connects with me so well because I have an odd name, to Americans at least, (I consider Sannah to be my real name because it is who I am) and people make fun of me a lot because of it. They call me things like Santa or Santa Anna. It doesn't bother me now but when I was younger it would sometimes bring me to tears. I've always wanted to change my name to Sannah once and for all.
I like the Mom in your poem that way. She picked an original name for her kid and it meant something to her. She wanted it to last and and be one of a kind, like the sun. I like that.
That does make me wonder though... What is your name? Is it a story or did it actually happen? You don't have to answer this... Just wondering.
Great job! I love it and I hope you write more great pieces!
*mentioned
"Said" is in past tense so "mention" should be too.
That's a strange way to phrase it. Maybe "I got home frowning with my arms crossed." would work better.
*poured
She poured you a glass of lemonade in the past. She already did that action. If it's present tense it should be "pours".
I like the concept of the poem, I sometimes wish I had a different name too, one that's easier to spell. I'd like to say something poetically enlightening, but poetry isn't my specialty. Keep on writing!
I really liked this poem, it flowed very nicely and instead of one of those poem where it goes on and on this one was a perfect length. I liked the abstract way of this poem and how you describe the strange meaning of your name. Also curious question, what is your name? (You don't have to answer if you don't want to
)
Thanks for posting I really enjoyed this and liked everything about it!
Peace,
Snickerdooly
So pretty! I'm no poet, so I don't really have a review - not that I could come up with one anyways!
You know, I have a really common name... but my mom did the spelling differently. People are always mispell it, but I like the way it's spelled - it makes it MY name.