Young Writers Society

Hey there, Sofie here with a review

Well, I'm definitely laughing out loud at the imagery of you running around the room while a fire alarm is going off. Hilarious, oh my goodness. Last stanza made me laugh even harder. "Where the midnight toast never burned". SO funny. I also really really liked this line;

"I'm electrocuted out of coherence".

So vivid, I love it. You did such a great job at painting the scene and putting us in the room where the incident happened. I totally felt the panic of the alarm going off. Great job

I loved this poem with my whole chest. It's a little uncommon to catch me laughing out loud at a piece of writing, but I kept finding myself chuckling at this one. Well done!

I have a special love for this kind of dramatics, and you nailed it! "it's satan inside the porous donut.", "i enter the darkest timeline.", & ""not so fast!" smirks someone from above, have to be my favorite parts if for no other reason than because it snags perfectly that bitter little frustration we can feel towards inanimate objects. Like god himself has cursed the character in the poem with restless night and He's smug about it. As well as with the descriptors of how comfortable everything is prior to the fire alarm going off, it makes for an extremely nice (and pretty funny) contrast.

All in all, I love this! Keep up the good work!!

Ah yes,fire alarms were created to help us,yet they do more harm than good,with their screeching noises annoying us out of our perfect calmness.I have to say,this poem was hilarious! I love how you describe the alarm as Satan in a donut,that bit really added how horrible it is to hear a fire alarm when you’re sleeping.I hope you have an amazing and calm day and night.