the room is cozy, the bed cozier,
my pillow's resting under me.
the blanket snuggly, the mood cuddly,
as i rest in quiet peace.
the silence like a Monday matinee,
shushes my ticking heart beat.
the temperature's at perfect 70,
'oh what a delightful night this is'.
"not so fast!" smirks someone from above,
it's satan inside the porous donut.
a calm wind passes by,
blowing away my quiet peace.
the screeching sounds, the screaming noise,
the cackling rings, the crying whines,
the howls of a sadist at 2 am.
i'm electrocuted out of coherence.
clueless panic sets in,
i run circles around my room.
sense catches up to me,
as i flee out of coziness.
i enter the darkest timeline.
the roads' icy, the wind's freezing,
the hearts' cold, and the mind numb.
'there's no going back now.'
back to the coziness after chaos settles,
it's not quite the same.
the room's cozy, the bed's cozier,
but i'm no longer at peace.
restlessly i wonder, what happened,
in those other timelines,
where the midnight toast never burned,
and i rested in quiet sleep.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
138,468 Literary Works • 672,130 Reviews
Hey there, Sofie here with a review
Well, I'm definitely laughing out loud at the imagery of you running around the room while a fire alarm is going off. Hilarious, oh my goodness. Last stanza made me laugh even harder. "Where the midnight toast never burned". SO funny. I also really really liked this line;
"I'm electrocuted out of coherence".
So vivid, I love it. You did such a great job at painting the scene and putting us in the room where the incident happened. I totally felt the panic of the alarm going off. Great job
I loved this poem with my whole chest. It's a little uncommon to catch me laughing out loud at a piece of writing, but I kept finding myself chuckling at this one. Well done!
I have a special love for this kind of dramatics, and you nailed it! "it's satan inside the porous donut.", "i enter the darkest timeline.", & ""not so fast!" smirks someone from above, have to be my favorite parts if for no other reason than because it snags perfectly that bitter little frustration we can feel towards inanimate objects. Like god himself has cursed the character in the poem with restless night and He's smug about it. As well as with the descriptors of how comfortable everything is prior to the fire alarm going off, it makes for an extremely nice (and pretty funny) contrast.
All in all, I love this! Keep up the good work!!
Ah yes,fire alarms were created to help us,yet they do more harm than good,with their screeching noises annoying us out of our perfect calmness.I have to say,this poem was hilarious! I love how you describe the alarm as Satan in a donut,that bit really added how horrible it is to hear a fire alarm when you’re sleeping.I hope you have an amazing and calm day and night.