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Just A Kiss

by Demora


Just a kiss is all I need.

A small peck,

On the cheek.

A long press,

Against my lips.

~

I could kiss you for hours,

And never be satisfied. 

But one kiss is always enough,

After these long days.

~

And oh how you kiss me...

Like tomorrow is already here,

And like yesterday never was.

~

Those soft sweet lips of yours,

Forever to be mine.

~

But I know it's just a kiss.


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34 Reviews


Points: 2375
Reviews: 34

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Fri Jan 17, 2020 9:47 am
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Hkumar wrote a review...



I liked how short you kept each line. It looked very neat!
I like how concise each line is, which helped me keep a flowing rhythm going while I read through the poem. Though no specific characters have been referred to in the poem , but stillI I could really feel a familiar pang of heartache there. A sort of craving and longing many of us have in the absence of loved ones.
Both the opening and closing lines contained the ' just a kiss' but I could sense a change of mood there which was interesting. Overall, I really enjoyed it.




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Fri Jan 17, 2020 4:29 am
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Elinor wrote a review...



Hey Demora,

My name is Elinor, and I thought I would drop by to review your poem. I really enjoyed reading this. It reminded me of an old love song from the 1940s or even more, something that would have been sung by Jo Stafford or Vera Lynn or Billie Holiday. Specifically, this song (which is not by any of the aforementioned artists, but you get my point -- it's a certain style reminiscent of a bygone time. I'm not sure if you've set this to music or were planning to, but I think it could be successful.

Kisses have been written about a lot, and especially in poem and song and I'm wondering if the imagery could go into even more detail than it currently does.

Also, this is a nitpick, but I'm not sure the tildes between stanzas are necessary, as it makes it seem somewhat amateurish. Right now, the narrator wants a kiss from her lover. Has she been separated from him? Can they only see each other so often? I'm compelled by your last line, but I wonder why it's "just" a kiss.

Overall, I can't think of too much else to critique. But I hope this helps! I enjoyed reading your poem. Keep writing, and please don't hesitate to reach out if you have any questions.

All the best,
Elinor




Demora says...


I apologize for the tiles gotta remember how to get spaces in between those stanzas cause it keeps messing up on me otherwise I would originally not have those there, and no there originally was no music but I love your song suggestion for it! And thank you for the critique tis always appreciated!!



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21 Reviews


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Fri Jan 17, 2020 3:47 am
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Zrillis says...



this is very interesting, I see emotion behind it and a lot of thought. on the surface this seems very meaningless, but hides truth and realization. even though you don't really have characters, I can picture two people sharing a deep relationship. keep up the symbolism and deep thoughts





"What is a poet? An unhappy person who hides deep anguish in his heart, but whose lips are so formed that when the sigh and cry pass through them, it sounds like lovely music."
— Søren Kierkegaard, Philosopher & Theologian