Alone

This is the kind of poetry I absolutely love! It is dark , scary , sad , and negative . Emotion means quite a bit in poetry ( if not the main thing we all try to emphasize in our own work) You did a great job with all the emotion

I would love to hear more rhyming though . I remember one of my friends said rhyming is only for happy things . Well sad rhymes do exist in my world . Take this for example :
As the razor blade tears through my wrist
i lie here wondering how it came to this ..
So rhyming can still hold all the sadness.

The poem though was amazing ! I love it alot . Message me anytime you want Thx

I love this poem, it is sooo serious and omninous!

Hello.

I see you have a style of using couplets for your poetry, which is just fine, but what I find could use a bit more work is what you put into those couplets. See, you're taking very ephemeral concepts that don't have any grounding in the reader's emotions.

Poetry needs to have a connection to the reader in order to be properly appreciated. While you use stronger snatches of emotion here, there's no setting, nothing that really lets me slip into the narrator's shoes and intimately understand how they're feeling.

While you use very common emotions, there's not much that differentiates them from the population. I've seen this message before, plenty of times. To make good poetry, you have to make it unique to yourself and the situation.

It also helps to expand on the feelings, so there's something a bit more concrete. However, with your current couplet style, that would be rather difficult. Focus on making each couplet really strong and grounded, or even consider expanding each stanza so you have room to work with.

Hope this helps. PM me if you have any questions.

~Rosey

Hello there again, Demora! ^^

Pff, you're poems are so sad it just makes me want to give you a hug. =( *huggles dem*
Seriously, my inbox is always open.

The cry for help really came forward in this and I could really feel the desperation of the narrator.

It's simple and you haven't used a lot of words, but that only adds to it in this case. Good work on making this such an emotional piece.

Alright, so what could make this piece even better is if you add punctuation. It might be a bit annoying at first to get used to that (it took me some time before I started to automatically add punctuation to my own poems) but it will make it look so much better.

And there's one grammatical error:

My failers are devouring