Did You Know, My Dear?

Hellie Halloue again!

This poem was quite amazing, great imagery and the content was so sweet and beautiful!
I loved the structure, but you could work on your punctuation.
Also.. most of your stanzas was built in the same way, and I liked that.. but then this one;

The rest of the planets
hys away at that gaze,
terrified,
but did you know, my dear? ( I don't like that you wrote this stanza different than the others.. In my opinion you should either eraze it completely or rewrite it so it fits the others)

Overall though I L O V E;d it!

Good Luck & Keep Writing

Hello,
Thank you for asking for a review! I'm a bit late, but better than never. I absolutely love this poem and it's originality! Always capitalize the first letter in every line of a poem, but I think a few reviewers have already pointed that out.

as water in my ears would.

shies away at that gaze

as the damp atmosphere.

I think it's a brilliant idea that you executed fairly well. There were some little nitpicks here and there, but the previous comments have covered pretty much all of them, so I have nothing to complain about.

Hello, I am going to review your poetry.
RED- corrections/opinions/errors etc.

Your hair
is messy
like confused rain.
It drives me mad as
water in my ears would. i think 'as' should be on the bottom verse

Your eyes
are frightening
as thunder roaring angrily.
They pierce me as
lighting in a storm would. again the 'as.' although i do like your adjectives.

The rest of the planet
shies away at that gaze,
terrified,
but did you know, my dear?

I love to dance in the rain.


Your voice
is raspy
like dead leaves in the fall.
It scratches my skin as
a brittle, bare tree branch would.

Your touch
is cold
as the expectation of snow.
It sends a shiver as
a bitter autumn wind would. 'as' again.

The rest of the world
recoils at that touch,
disgusted,
but did you know, my dear?

Autumn is my favorite season.


Your hand
is not soft
but rather hard and rough.
Yet it holds mine gently as
the damp atmosphere.

Your face
is not beautiful
like people think it should be.
Yet it smiles at me as
a kind friend would.

The rest of the earth
turns away at that face,
horrified,
but did you know, my dear?

I love you anyways

I did actually like this poem. The descriptions and adjectives really made this poem what it is. Well done really!

Good Job, I hope your peoms in the future are as good as this, although improve from the corrections i have made


,writingaway

This is really great and it reminded me a lot of beastly, where the girl loves the guy no matter what other people think. I thought it was bueatiful and touching.

Your hair
(Is messy
(L)ike confused rain.
It drives me mad as
(W)ater in my ears would.

Your eyes
(A)re frightening
(A)s thunder roaring angrily.
They pierce me as
(L)ighting in a storm would.

The rest of the planet
(S)hies away at that gaze,
(T)errified,
(B)ut did you know, my dear?

I love to dance in the rain.

Your voice
(I)s raspy
(L)ike dead leaves in the fall.
It scratches my skin as
(A) brittle, bare tree branch would.

Your touch
(I)s cold
(A)s the expectation of snow.
It sends a shiver as
(A) bitter autumn wind would.

The rest of the world
(Recoils at that touch,
(D)isgusted,
(B)ut did you know, my dear?

Autumn is my favorite season.

Your hand
(I)s not soft
(B)ut rather hard and rough.
Yet it holds mine gently as
(T)he damp atmosphere.

Your face
(I)s not beautiful
(L)ike people think it should be.
Yet it smiles at me as
(A) kind friend would.

The rest of the earth
(T)urns away at that face,
(H)orrified,
(B)ut did you know, my dear?

I love you anyways.