Confession #47

by Daisuki

Published May 7, 2012

In Poetry

To know.
To know and to love.
To know what love is?
Is there any bigger lie than such?
You can’t live without her, you say.
I say get over it.
People will fail you
always.
Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
KittyCatMeow
Review
KittyCatMeow wrote a review Review · Nov 24, 2013

Hi, Daisuki! Here I am reviewing your poem!

The title is unique, and it is quite humorous even by itself. It's random, but that's the point. It's good that it's random! It shows that a unique 47, that isn't anything special is special.

To know.
To know and to love.
To know what love is?


These first three lines feel too repeating and it lacks sense of excitement. Instead, only add the line you believe is essential and delete the others. A short, meaningful poem is better than a long, boring one.

Is there any bigger lie than such?
You can’t live without her, you say.
I say get over it.


These lines know their readers well. If the readers want to read something like this, they will read it, and they will like it!

People will fail you
always.


I don't understand what you mean by this.

Other than that, I like how you made "always" have its own line to give it an "important feel" to it.

Overall, it as great, though some parts could have some minor (or major, but not too many) improvement.

Keep writing! ;)

~Kitty

Hey, thanks for the review. If you haven't noticed, I recently came back around to this site so pretty much all my stuff is old. I appreciate the time and effort you put into this, though. I don't really find the title random, I think I intended it to show how this is something someone had on their mind. Also, this isn't really an exciting poem, the repetition is intended to add some build-up. Try taking out the first two lines, the the poem is jumped into too quickly. I'm glad you like the middle part, it's probably the core. The fact that the speaker thinks that "people will fail you, always" is, I suppose, the point of the poem and essentially the "confession."

User avatar
Moriko
Comment
Moriko commented Comment · May 7, 2012

User avatar
laylaflame
Comment
laylaflame commented Comment · May 7, 2012

Strangely, I like this. Even if it is short and just plain depressing. :)
I really like the first 4 lines, but the second half isnt as.. nice? flowy? something like that..
See personally, I dont believe people will always fail you. But I do believe what you say about love.
The name is cool too, suits it well.
Also I like its shortness. The ending (although I dont agree) is good.



Love is all we have, the only way that each can help the other.
— Euripides