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139,274 Literary Works • 672,523 Reviews
Hi, Daisuki! Here I am reviewing your poem!
The title is unique, and it is quite humorous even by itself. It's random, but that's the point. It's good that it's random! It shows that a unique 47, that isn't anything special is special.
These first three lines feel too repeating and it lacks sense of excitement. Instead, only add the line you believe is essential and delete the others. A short, meaningful poem is better than a long, boring one.
These lines know their readers well. If the readers want to read something like this, they will read it, and they will like it!
I don't understand what you mean by this.
Other than that, I like how you made "always" have its own line to give it an "important feel" to it.
Overall, it as great, though some parts could have some minor (or major, but not too many) improvement.
Keep writing!
~Kitty
Hey, thanks for the review. If you haven't noticed, I recently came back around to this site so pretty much all my stuff is old. I appreciate the time and effort you put into this, though. I don't really find the title random, I think I intended it to show how this is something someone had on their mind. Also, this isn't really an exciting poem, the repetition is intended to add some build-up. Try taking out the first two lines, the the poem is jumped into too quickly. I'm glad you like the middle part, it's probably the core. The fact that the speaker thinks that "people will fail you, always" is, I suppose, the point of the poem and essentially the "confession."
Strangely, I like this. Even if it is short and just plain depressing.
I really like the first 4 lines, but the second half isnt as.. nice? flowy? something like that..
See personally, I dont believe people will always fail you. But I do believe what you say about love.
The name is cool too, suits it well.
Also I like its shortness. The ending (although I dont agree) is good.