Rabbit's Roar

Hey I'm Caitie.
I really enjoyed this poem, I gave me a different perspective to look at. It shows that there can always be a different way of looking at the story. I love all the different references made by the rabbit. "The Tortoise and the Hair" part was really funny. You used all the different names a rabbit gets called, and they coincide with books, stories, and even holidays. Just in general I love this poem and leaves me wanting to read more about.

this is kman134 here with a review.

this is very good insight on the life of a rabbit. You can see his irritation on how much he has suffered, comically. How much he has to deal with easter, magicians, and tortoises. the symbolisms and allusions are a nice touch, as well, bringing back many old, and festive, references to the viewpoint.

"I'm not the hare from the fable either,
I've had too many tortoises asking me to race them.
I'm quite comfortable relaxing in
my burrow thanks."

The reference to Aesop's "Tortoise and the Hair" was a nice touch to the rabbit's perspective on how much he is antagonized. It is brilliant to explain how much berates on how he people compare him to the hair in the fable and how much annoyed he gets when a tortoise challenges him to a race.

I like this poem and wish to see more like it.

Hi Chips, just gonna write a quick review. This was a good poem, and unless I'm wrong, you were trying to reflect on the idea that maybe people should look at rabbits, and other "fairy tale" creatures as what they are in real life, not what they are in a book. This is a nice message, because I agree, instead of looking at a pumpkin near Halloween and wanting to carve it up and kill it, you should look at it as a beautiful form of nature, and cherish what it gives you (roasted seeds, pumpkin pie, etc.). The poem flowed very well, and I'm glad you didn't make it too long. Well done, and keep writing poetry like this, because it's good!

~Caterpickle

Hey Chips.

I love this. The title is catchy and cute, and pulled me in to read this. You use the rabbit character to make references to a bunch of popular themes, which is clever. While doing all this, you've managed to make the rabbit character endearing because he's so frustrated how magicians, tortoises and people, in general, expect him to be. Well done.

Some picknits, sorry, nitpicks:

- 2nd stanza: Remove the apostrophe in abracadabra's
- 2nd stanza: I think the line-break separating 'too' and 'many' isn't well placed, you could also try taking a second look at line breaks at a couple of other places too, like the one between 'Easter' and 'bunny'.

Thank you for breaking all these stereotypes about rabbits! Love.

I daresay the roar of the rabbit is ravishing indeed. I fancy your poetry, young lad!
I love the way you meshed in the ideas of the rabbit and his carrots, the Easter and the eggs.

I think the flow of the poetry could have been improvised on if you tweaked the structure or paragraphed it a bit more differently.

The current style of structure makes it look like the rabbit is talking and if that's what you were nibbling for, you've bit it right!

Also, do consider SereneSimpliciT's review. He explains it better regarding the flow and structure I am talking about.
Read some poems and stuff, especially from realism. It'll give you tons of ideas how to go about it. I haven't checked out the tutorials in the poetry section but writers tell me they're good. Try them out sometime.

Explore and have fun! Oh, and write the magic too!

-Kaizenex

Hi! Maddie here with a poetry review for you!

Right off the bat I'm gonna say that I really enjoy the concept. I don't think I've ever really seen any type of narrative from a rabbit's point of view, especially one in which it's talking down to people. It's true that we do say a lot of crap about rabbits. I personally have never understood why, but at the same time I've never taken it into consideration before. The fact that you were able to find a very original idea is a very outstanding achievement. I applaud you on your creative thinking.

Now, that being said, I will say that the technique used to explain this idea isn't as advanced. I understand that this is a free verse poem, but even so, a poem must still have some type of flow to them. This, when read, is very staccato and cuts at very strange places. This can be easily fix with rephrasing and honestly, just reworking the lines. You have to look at each line and make sure it makes some type of sense.

Take this stanze for example:
"My fluffy ears have heard too
many abracadabra's with no
carrots appearing."

Now split them up and see if the lines make sense
"My fluffy ears have heard too"
-Too what? This is an incomplete thought

"many abracadabra's with no"
-This doesn't make sense. It sounds like mumbling

"carrots appearing."
-dependent Fragment.

Does this make sense?
I hope you do work with this idea more, it can be an extraordinary work.

Keep writing!
~Maddie

I have never once thought of a rabbit this way, and I love it. you gave creature that most people don't associate with having feelings or caring about what there associated with and showed this. I was smiling the entire time I was reading, its got a kinda funny attitude that makes you think. and even better not just about rabbits, all kinds of animals, lions and mice, dogs and cats I love stories or poems that truly make you think about life those are always the best kind of poem. I must say the title is a little bit miss leading but I like it a lot. please don't stop writing you are obviously a skilled writer who will fill this world with amazing literature for years to come.