Eve: Hey Adam, you've got something stuck in your throat.
Adam: *Clears throat*
Eve: Still there.
Adam: So's your sin.
Eve: So's yours.
Jesus: I'll get rid of it.
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140,191 Literary Works • 673,040 Reviews
Hey there! Here's my attempt to review this short and delightful piece.
I love your balance of humor in this. It's really funny without being uncomfortably irreverent to Christians (or at least to me). I actually really appreciate this, as much of the humor around those lines feels irreverent and makes me uncomfortable, while this is something I can laugh at. Thanks for that!
This is well served by how short and succinct it is. The one thing I would say is that it doesn't really seem like satire to me. It has the right tone for satire, but it doesn't seem to be critiquing or mocking anything in particular. It just finds something funny and then comments on it. This makes it less of a satire and more of a comedy or a joke. Which is fine, but if you were trying to make a point beyond being hilarious (which you did admirably), then I'm missing it.
I love the pun on an Adam's apple. It's a great way to set up the metaphor and it makes the poem doubly funny.
My apologies for this mostly unhelpful review. (It's just too good to critique.) I hope you could get something out of it.
-Meandbooks
I really like this. I can't exactly review it, partly because it is so short, and partly because I dislike critiquing satirical writing. But what you've managed to do with just a few lines is pretty fantastic.
this poem is not bad one but too short for a reveiw. you could have given somthing for urs poem, somthing from the paradise lost.adam and eve fighting eating apple were ashamed and all that.but this is a good one and have given me an idea for my new spiritual poem which i will publish here. hope u will like it as i did urs.
10/10 Would watch on Broadway!
Hi Dear ChipsMcCoy!
It was really very short and sweetest and cutest little skit.The script is written beautifully and in an easy - to - understand - language which can be easily understood by every one. It contains a satirical touch and a spiritual aspect can be seen very easily.It is a sweet convrsation between the two early homo sapiens sapiens.It was really a great job!It is not easy to create a satire in a skit.It requires art which you have.You a skill to write beautifully.I enjoyed reading this unique poetry with a perfect mixture of conversation,skit ,satire and a spiritual effect.
I want to read your short skits more.
I had funn reading this one.
Dont stop...Continue writing...
:~ Eros