Young Writers Society

hi i i'm here to drop a review off on what i read

First i had to get a laugh out on for reading this when you said I wonder which journey you made
to end up on a coffee cup.


I wonder how you survive behind the caffeine
sea. i i'm like lol this was so funny i couldn't believe it how the poem was saying about some McDonald's and yeah i love me some Starbucks and yeah i can't say much cause its to short for someone to read

How you can improve is on writing and thinking of more things then just like one line in to your poem you suppose to think what you see or what's going in your life or it can be a person or somebody

My compliment is where did you get Starbucks from and McDonald's anyway did you write what you see or something i wanna know whats going on what makes you wanna to write something like this its awesome keep it up but next time just write more than one line through

Keep writing!

~jay~

Hello CapitalMonday here for a review. I want to begin by saying this is the most cutest poem i have seen before and I want to say, that you should continue to write more of these. I like how the M on McDonalds logo is worrying about the mermaid since well, what were to happen if the mermaid was thirsty but never got a drink.

Her skin would maybe scarred from the hot coffee being poured into her inside and that must be really uncomfortable for her, and when she needs to scream to say its hot they never listen since they never see her; they are always drinking the coffee in the cup.

Maybe sometimes the M on the McDonald's logo needs less attention since people look up at the golden arch and go into the place, and maybe he doesn't like this attention.

Sorry If none of this make sense and I ramble instead of helped.

CapitalMonday

I love this! It's so cute! I like how it is like a letter to the mermaid from the "M" on the McDonald's logo. The humor is really good! Keep up the good work! I look forward to reading more from you.

Ha,that's so whimsical.I would love to have your thought process.That's wonderful.It has tasteful silliness.You have a great sense of humor.You keep up the good work.You should use write a book of humorous poems.

Hey there Kat here to review for you!

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW so cute and why wasn't I following you?! Best picture ever....

Being serious, this was totally adoreable and 45 likes nice. Such a small poem and such an interesting concept most people barley notice. I loved the little twist at the end where it was from the McDonalds logo!

Thanks for making my day better and giving me something to ponder.....is she really a mermmaid :0 ???

Starbucks is delicious and everyone loves it, good choice on the title because it makes other people click on it, very eye-catching. Very nice poem. It is funny and well thought-out. Good job.

I love this <3
I used to go to Starbucks all the time and wonder about the logo
I didn't even realize she was a mermaid until you said it in your poem >.< #sillyme

Well done ^.^

Wow! Seriously this is perfect. I'm really impressed with this piece.
It's so great that you turned something that seemed so ordinary to us into such a good poem.
I love the ending, very unexpected.
This is just too amazing to put it into words.
My favorite line is "I wonder how you survive behind the caffeine sea."
I will never be the same while drinking Starbucks

I don't even know what to say...just...*claps* Thank you? Is that enough?
You're a genius and this was great?
I don't know! Just...*continues to clap*

I'm done. Just done. I wasn't expecting that ending, thanks for making me smile.

Ok...this made me laugh so hard. I absolutely loved it! First off, the title absolutely made me click on it right away. I mean...how could you pass up on a title like that?! Anyway...good job! I do agree with the comments below that the "see" line is weird but I also get what you're trying to say so it doesn't really bother me that much at all. The overall theme of the poem was SO entertaining. Great job! Keep writing and making people laughing! There needs to be more people like you in the world

Told you coffee was better. hehehe

This. was. awesome.

Hilarious! I love it so much. You totally need to write another poem to the "M" from the mermaid!

That was pretty cool.
That mermaid is actually a different kind of fishy mythological creature called the Museline. It was the star of a French folktale about a noble who married one thinking that she was regular human. When he finds out though, she threatens to leave him if he spills the secret. He does eventually and never sees her again.
Starbucks had a more risque Museline back in the seventies when they started serving coffee. If I remember right, they had change it because of the customers.
This was my answer about the journey she took to get onto the coffee cup!

I love this!!! Very funny! I've actually never noticed the mermaid on the Starbucks logo. Never really cared. Now, I'll have to actually look for it next time I'm there.

Hi ChipsMcCoy!

From now on, I will...
1. Make up a backstory of how the mermaid made it to the cup.
2. Ask the logo mermaid how it feels to be in a caffeine sea.
3. Feel if the mermaid's tail is hot from the steam.
4. Try to see if the mermaid drinks.
5. Look REALLY hard at the mermaid, then ask others to do so also.
... every time I get Starbucks.
Oh, and I'll do the same for the McDonald's "M"

And all that means you did a WONDERFUL job influencing your readers. Plus, you made me laugh hysterically and freak out everyone around me.

On the second to last line, I agreed a little bit with @Lylas with the whole seeing thing... UNTIL I realized what you meant was not see visually but mentally. What I mean is, if they even pay attention to the Starbucks mermaid logo. So now I believe we're on the same page.

Overall, I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE your poem!!! It deserves its spot on the Featured List! And congrats about that!
Keep up the amazing writing!
~Em101cats~

This is either really funny or really deep, depending on how you look at it.

I love it! Never really thought about it but I will definitely think of this poem every time I get Starbucks now Very clever

*Slow Claps* Epic stuff!

I just had to show this to my mom, Chips. This is sooo funny.

Haha! This is great Brought a smile to my face!

I also love how you personified the Logos, and I love McDonalds! Personally, I feel like you could have added more!

I think you should un-italicize the first line, since the rest of the poem isn't in italics.

Also, obviously we can see the logo so that didn't make sense

Good job though!

-Kamryn

Hahahaha! Nice, I never even thought about that. Poor logos.

So, nitpicking time! The first line is italicized, but the rest of the poem isn't, which looks a little weird. At the very least, I'd italicize the last line too to bring the whole thing full circle.

My other issue is with these lines:

"I wonder if you get thirsty too.

I wonder if anyone even sees you."

They rhyme, which is generally a very good thing in poems, but it this case it seems slightly awkward because the rest of your poem doesn't rhyme.